I Was Not Born to Entertain You

April 24th, 2007.

My brother has been having some health problems lately, so when he asked me to drive him to his doctor’s appointment, I was happy to help. More so since I knew he wasn’t feeling well enough to be his usual pain in my ass.

Now everyone knows that the waiting room of any doctor’s office is an intensely boring place, but I came prepared. I brought both my Ipod and a book so I’d have plenty of entertainment options at my disposal. I’m such a planner.

So there I am, sitting in the office, waiting for my brother with a pair of headphones firmly entrenched in my ears, thumbing casually through my book, when I noticed out of the corner of my eye a man waving at me in an almost frantic attempt to get my attention. I look up, remove both earpieces (Because you douche’s that just remove one earpiece are just plain rude) and I say to him, “Yes?”

“Do you have the time?”

With the way he was flailing about, I expected he was trying to alert me to fact that the office was on fire or, at the very least, that the receptionist was calling my name. But all he wanted was the time. That’s OK, I supposed. It’s not as if my Ipod doesn’t keep the time.

“It’s 10:15.” I told him.

He thanked me and I smiled graciously and told him it wasn’t a problem. Then, I plugged my earpieces back in and re-buried my nose back into my book.

A few minutes later, I noticed the flailing again. Again, I removed my earpieces and politely asked him what he needed this time.

“So…” he says, “Nice weather we’ve been having, huh?”

OK, no.



That’s fucking rude. Does anyone else see how that’s fucking rude? Please tell me I’m not the only one who considers that kind of thing unbelievably, irrecoverably, 100% rude.

Here I am obviously occupied because I had the foresight to come prepared to entertain myself, and this guy expects me to drop what I’m doing and engage him in conversation. Why? Because he’s bored.

Guess what? I’m not a monkey! It’s not my job to entertain some of you rude fucks! Pick up a magazine and amuse yourself. Don’t expect me to drop what I’m doing and sing you a fucking song every time your empty little mind happens to wander.

This isn’t about being social, either. Had I been apathetically looking around the office with nothing to do it would have been completely appropriate for him to engage me in small talk. But in my case, I was occupied. I was reading a book! I had headphones on! Don’t headphones universally mean ‘I can’t hear you, so don’t bother talking to me?’ If not, they should. From now on, I hereby declare headphones the universal sign for ‘I can’t hear you, so don’t interrupt me unless something is on fire or the receptionist is calling my name, you fucking fucker.’

Put that on a fucking sign.

The egocentric nature of society is really driving me nuts. This attitude people possess where they sincerely believe that the whole world revolves around them and everyone else has been placed here strictly for their amusement has got to end. People have lost all respect for the time and space of their peers. It’s almost as if they suck every ounce of personal enjoyment out of every human interaction without any regard whatsoever to what the other person is getting out of the exchange.

Don’t believe me?

How many times have you personally witnessed someone rambling on and on about something ignorant completely oblivious to the fact that everyone’s eyes have glazed over and one person actually fell asleep? If you answered my question with ‘hardly ever,’ then I’ve got news for you. You’re the rambler, jackass. And no one cares about your fucking cat.

Does anyone remember the golden rule? Whatever happened to that? I mean, I would never tap someone one the shoulder while they were reading a book and insist, “I’m bored. Entertain me now!” So don’t do it to me. It’s that simple.

My response to the man in the doctor’s office was to irritably shake my head and replace my earpieces without responding.

Fuck that rude bastard.

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