Why Rockstar Mommy’s Husband Spent Mother’s Day Boffing His Secretary

May 24th, 2007.

It’s actually quite fun to watch her empty little mind vainly attempt to string together mildly coherent sentences, but I simply have to call bullshit….only because it’s a pet peeve of mine when bloggers make up blatant lies in order to discredit someone rather than actually defend their position. Normally, I let it slide because I’ve said my piece and I tend to get bored with people fairly easy, but today I’m feeling spunky so let the show begin.

Yesterday when I called Rockstar Mommy a shallow, functionally retarded, drama queen, she said that I:

“depend on stirring up drama and rumors on the internet to keep her stats up, calling me uncreative and untalented doesn’t come close to hurting my feelings. She attacks people (almost always popular women, imagine that”

The implication here is that the only reason I made fun of her was because she runs a more popular site and I was hoping she would drive some traffic my way.

However, the reality of the matter is that my site is significantly more popular than hers. Sure, she’d like you all to believe that people are visiting her site in droves, but outside of a handful horny teenage kids and few fat suburbanites, there are crickets chirping over there. But how about we let the stats speak for themselves, shall we?

Our technorati info:

Technorati

Our Alexa info:

Alexa

Need I say more?

Unfortunately, Rockstar Mommy isn’t the first idiot blogger who has made this accusation. It seems to me that every time I want to poke a little fun at someone the insinuation is that I’m only doing it for the traffic. Never mind that outside of Heather Armstrong and Tucker Max, I’ve never made fun anyone with more traffic than me. Most of the sites I lambaste have readerships so low that they’d be lucky to send me 20 hits, tops. So you see I couldn’t be doing it for the traffic because there is no traffic to get.

Hey Rockstar Mommy! Did you ever stop to think that MAYBE I JUST DON’T LIKE YOU? Maybe I actually do think you’re an idiot! Maybe I think you’re so much of an idiot that I want introduce you to my readers, if for no other reason but to scare the shit out of them once they realize that a vapid whore such as yourself is actually raising a child!

By nay, Rockstar Mommy wants people to think that:

“she realized that no one wants to read about her contrived and boring opinions, she picked another blogger to write about. (Another almost-popular woman, imagine that.)… Hopefully her attempt at jacking up her failing stats works for her.”

I’ve always been totally honest about my stats. The slowest day I ever had I managed 2,000 hits. That was the first day my site went live. The most traffic I’ve ever managed was 110,000 hits in a single day. Rockstar Mommy, have you ever even managed 110,000 hits in a single month? Refreshing your page over and over again until your fingers cramp up doesn’t count, either. God, it must really burn your ass that I’ve only been doing this for a little over 6 months and I’m already raking in significantly more traffic than you’ve managed to build in over 4 years of blogging! But darling, you really don’t have to lie about it. Instead, run to your camera quick! A shot of you bending over might be good for 20 more hits!

The last thing I have issue with from Little – Miss – Almost – The – Same – Age – As – Her – Stepdaughter is when she said:

“She stopped slamming other bloggers for a while ’cause she came close to getting in trouble for it and then when she realized that no one wants to read about her contrived and boring opinions…”

I almost got in trouble now, did I? Fucking please. Outside of a bunch of hysterical mommy bloggers vaguely attempting to threaten me, I didn’t even scrape the surface of actually getting in trouble. Seriously, it takes more than a bunch of vacant, hormonal, stay at home Moms to frighten me. And just because I really want to drive my point home here, I give you this:

lol

(Psst: Maybe if you pulled yourself away from the computer long enough to take Miss Piggy for a walk every now and again, she wouldn’t be so fucking pudgy. Let them eat cake indeed!)

Also the implication that the only reason people read my site is because they’re hoping I’ll write some more about you is completely ridiculous as well. The single thing my reader’s hate most of all is when I deviate from my “contrived and boring” opinions to speculate on how long it’s going to take your husband to dump you for another child bride. You see, they care even less about you than I do and posts like these are torture for them. The fact of the matter is that my site didn’t really start getting popular until I stopped talking about mommy bloggers. But don’t take my word for it. Do some technorati searches of your own if you want to see the constant ‘Oh God V, STOP TALKING ABOUT THE MOMMY BLOGGERS’ bitching for yourself.

[Note to readers: Come on! Let me have a little fun!]

In closing, you can fake cyber yawn all you want. But if you didn’t put any stock in my opinions, you wouldn’t feel the need to make up blatant lies in a really sad and pathetic attempt to discredit me.

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1 Response to Why Rockstar Mommy’s Husband Spent Mother’s Day Boffing His Secretary

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