Creepy Little Fuck

June 15th, 2007.

I woke up this afternoon and stumbled, bleary eyed, into my living room on the way to the kitchen to make myself a cup of coffee. Three steps into my foyer and I suddenly stopped short. For there, standing right in the middle of my living room was a strange 5 year old boy. I choked back a startled scream.

For a second there, I thought I was dreaming. I shook my head a little and discreetly scratched my wrist in an attempt to wake myself up. The only problem was I wasn’t sleeping. There really was a 5 year old boy standing in the middle of my living room. Not doing anything, mind you, just standing there. He was staring at me, all creepy like, as if he were an actor in a Stephan King movie.

I peered at him a little closer and realized I recognized him. He was the neighbor boy.

“Honey,” said I, “What are you doing?”

“Waiting for [your stepchildren]” he replied.

I laughed a little and told him, “[my stepchildren] only come on the weekends, darling. They won’t be here until tomorrow.”

“Oh.”

“How long have you been waiting here?”

“Awhile.”

Then, very abruptly, he whirled around and bolted out of my house. It was quite possibly one of the most surreal moments of my life. And that’s saying something.

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