The lesbian chick who runs this website says my friend is indeed yanking my chain and the word ‘queer’ has nothing to do with wanting to fuck people of both sexes. According to her, I am simply a slut. I guess lesbians are kind of like Catholics in that intent is just as bad as action, but whatever. The lesbian chick made me laugh and that’s all that matters.
Even though she didn’t officially enter my contest, I’m going to use one of her comments (doctored up a little so it makes sense) as my new catchphrase. In the 30+ years I’ve been alive, I’ve been called a great many things…but no one has actually ever referred to me as a slut. This has always surprised me (considering my penchant for raunchiness) and I’d almost given up on adding the S-word to my list of nicknames.
But this lesbian, this beautiful wonderful lesbian, has restored my faith in humanity. Because of her, I can now file the word ‘slut’ right under the phrase ‘stupid evil bitch’ in my Big Dictionary of Insults Flung My Way. This is truly a momentous occasion.
Bless you, my lesbian friend. Please don’t ever post your picture as it would break my heart into a million pieces if I ever found out you were ugly.
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