Dance, Monkey, Dance

October 17th, 2007.

Oh, is this who I’m supposed to be this week? Sweet. I was getting kind of tired being ‘Pete the overweight guy’ from Georgia. Although, Pete was a big step up from ‘Carrie the stay at home Mom of 4’ from Oregon.

For anyone who is wondering, the answer is yes. Ryan Holiday cracked it. As I said before, any and all rumors concerning me are absolutely true.

But let’s all forget about that hysterical crybaby for a minute while we take a minute to talk about my favorite subject: Me and My Stats.

Oh, I kid! I kid!

A couple of people have made note of that fact that I often bring up my stats in the midst of making fun of people. It is theorized that I do this to prove that I’m right merely because I have a larger audience.

This couldn’t be further from the truth.

The only time I bring up my stats during a confrontation is when the other party attempts to discredit me by implying that I have none. Ryan Holiday did it, Rockstarmommy did it and I’m sure another idiot blogger will do it again in the future.

But the fact of the matter is, they’re lying. And because it’s such a blatant lie, I feel as if it’s my civic duty to address it. A little Internet citizens arrest, if you will.

However, in the grand scheme of things, you guys are right. It really doesn’t matter. Just because I get tens of thousands of hits a day and Ryan Holiday only has his Grandma reading doesn’t make me automatically right and it doesn’t make him automatically wrong. The fact that he’s an idiot makes him wrong, period.

For the official record, though, of course I write for the traffic. If I were ‘writing for myself,’ I’d type this shit up in microsoft word and put it under my pillow. I’m here to entertain you. If I wasn’t entertaining you, I’d likely stop writing…despite the fact that this site does turn a profit. It’s definitely not the money. Honestly? The money I’ve made here is kind of a joke to me. They only reason I bother at all with it is because there are certain people out there (Who have been trying to make a living via this whole Internet thang) who go absolutely nuts when I bring it up. This amuses me.

So, consider me your dancing monkey for the time being and have a little fun with this site already! That’s the whole point. The goal. The mission statement. Let’s have fun. Together.

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