It’s Good to Be Judgmental

January 29th, 2008.

*By the Author of Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds*

She’s V and I’m W. Some of you may know me from my own site Wide Lawns and Narrow Minds, but since there are thousands of you who have no clue who I am, I thought I should introduce myself as V has so graciously allowed me to guest blog here on Violent Acres, which is a huge honor. V said I remind her of herself except more compassionate and it’s true that we have some things in common (she’s not fooling me by the way, I know she’s compassionate). Luckily there are also a lot of things we don’t have in common, because it would be lame and boring if we were alike. For instance, I couldn’t give a flying pig’s ass about Mommy-bloggers.

I like to refer to myself as “self help with a dose of tough love” and on my own site I tell a lot of personal stories with the occasional rant. I like to be funny and I like to entertain and I’m actually really nice, just in a mean way sometimes. As I guest post for V I won’t be telling any personal stories. I’m here to help you out, to aid you in your personal quest to not be an idiot and to assist in the general de-wussification of our country. I’m warning you now that you will probably be a little offended. I also probably won’t offend you nearly as much as V does, but if I do then it’s time to take a good hard look at yourself and figure out why something a stranger says on the Internet upsets you. It could be that you are severely deficient in extra-curricular activities and need to lay off the World of Warcraft or perhaps actually do some work at your job. If you want to know more about who I am it’s all on my site and I don’t need to repeat it.

One thing that I will tell you though is that I am judgmental. If you went and asked a handful of people who actually know me they’d all say the same thing.

“She is so judgmental.”

People have been calling me judgmental for years now and it’s most often leveled at me as an insult to which I always say the same thing.

“Thank you!”

Having someone call you judgmental is a good thing. It’s a compliment. Thank God I’m judgmental or I might be living in a trailer somewhere, pregnant with my third kid and on welfare, waiting for my old man Dean to get home from the bar and beat my ass for forgetting to heat up his frozen biscuits and gravy.

Lately the word judgmental has taken on a very negative connotation, synonymous with bigoted or otherwise intolerant asshole. We’ve become such a society of pussies who are afraid to say what’s really on our mind that we’ve actually been frightened into not having much of anything on our mind at all anymore. The reason is because anytime someone says anything about another person everyone else sounds the judgmental alarm. We’re petrified that someone will think we’re a bad person or we aren’t nice if we speak up and actually criticize someone. It takes a lot of courage to come out and say “hey that’s not normal, cut that shit out” or “what you’re doing is isn’t right. Stop it now.”

Because no one will say anything, people can pretty much just get away with anything these days. There are no longer social consequences to bad behavior. Why do you think so many teenagers and unmarried women are having babies now? It’s because we stopped telling them that it wasn’t ok and we stopped doing that because OH MY GOD someone might call us judgmental and think we’re mean.

Did you know that now almost half of all babies are born out of wedlock and that 80% of all black children are born to single mothers? That is fucking ridiculous. Children need to be raised in a two parent home. The children of single mothers have exponentially more problems than children in two parent homes, the women struggle trying to raise the kids, are terrible mothers and the whole family, if you can even call it that, becomes a huge burden on society and perpetuates a cycle of poverty and ignorance. But God freakin’ forbid that someone would actually tell these girls or the men who get them pregnant that it’s not acceptable to breed like stray dogs. That person, the one who actually said something, is the villain here. That person is JUDGMENTAL. And since no one wants to be called judgmental we all just sit back and let children suffer, because that’s way better than being called the J-word.

But it’s not just with huge social issues like single mothers and deadbeat dads that people are afraid to speak up. It happens in a variety of scenarios. Recently I had a debate with some friends about the infestation of gold digging whores who come to South Florida (that’s where I live) looking for rich old men to support them. Many of the gold digging whores are from other countries and want to get married to stay here. My friend said that we should pity all of these girls because they all came from bad situations and just want something better for themselves and that I should be more accepting of this “alternative” way of acquiring wealth. I’m not accepting of it at all. I think it’s fucking vile that these sluts come here from wherever and prey on lonely, incredibly stupid and delusional men in order to take their cash.

I go to school with thousands of Haitian immigrants, many of whom had to come to the US on rafts, risking their lives to get here. They work four and five jobs and sleep with 15 people crowded into a studio apartment just so that they can afford to go to school to learn a trade or to get a higher paying job. That’s coming from a bad situation and wanting something better for oneself. I don’t care what situations the gold diggers came from or if they were raised in a shack in Appalachia or on the streets of Sao Paolo. It’s wrong to be a lazy whore and to have relationships with men just to get money out of them. But guess how the conversation ended?

“Jeez, you are so judgmental.”

Being judgmental has served me well and I’d prefer to say that I just have good judgment and that all the people calling me judgmental have very poor judgment. I come from a family and a place where most of the people that I grew up around had extremely poor judgment – frighteningly poor judgment. I was able to look around me and see that my relatives and the people we knew were doing things that were simply wrong. Because I was judgmental, I had enough sense not to do those same things myself. So when I observed the people near me I wasn’t saying “Oh poor Billy’s stealing cars because he feels terrible about himself and needs to steal cars to support his drug habit which he has because addiction is a disease that runs in his family and because his inner child isn’t nourished.” Instead I said “Billy’s a lying criminal and an irresponsible drug addict and thank God I’ll never be like that idiot!”

Due to my being so judgmental and intolerant I am well educated, in good shape, have a great job, no debt and am married to a kind, motivated and hard-working husband. I own property and have no illegitimate children. My cousins, the ones who love to call me judgmental, have Type II Diabetes because they’re overweight and eat shit out of a box every day, just got fired from Wal-Mart and are on their way to get restraining orders against their baby daddies. They also need to borrow some money for gas and diapers and a case of beer.

Being judgmental is a compliment not an insult. When you see someone doing something that’s wrong or stupid or that could hurt others don’t be afraid to get up in their face and tell them. Don’t be afraid of being called a name. Welcome it. People need to start having consequences for their bad behavior again so that they’ll stop doing such profoundly fucked up things. Often the reason that people resort to the J-word is because you’ve beat them in an argument and they know it and can’t handle the criticism that they deserve, but criticism is good, so if someone calls you judgmental, thank them. It means you’re smart and have enough sense not to make the same idiotic mistakes that they condone purely because they don’t want someone to think they’re a bad person.

So go ahead and call me judgmental. I’m proud of it.

***

Wide Lawns is a neurotic grad student from South Florida with a bad case of OCD and a general disdain for society coupled with a bizarre optimism that if she can just write enough that she can get people to stop being such idiots. Wide Lawns however, does not believe that if she can help just one person then it would all be worth it. She also despises corn syrup, the people who sell things on the side of the road and experimental fiction. She is currently a recovering perfectionist, is not pregnant and refuses to discuss overhyped celebrity morons. Read more from Wide Lawns here.

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