The New Definition of a Bastard Child

January 30th, 2008.

Once I write something, I usually like to leave it be. I absolutely, positively hate going back and explaining shit even when it’s clear the majority of people have missed the point I was fumbling around to make.

But then again, I also hate being misunderstood.

Furthermore, when faced with the option of either revising my statement or being perpetually misunderstood, I’ll usually opt for the latter. What can I say? When it comes to this site, I’m pretty lazy.

However, just recently a few religious types have claimed to identify with a couple of my viewpoints. This just seems to innately wrong to me that I find myself unable to overlook the confusion any longer. So here I am, hoping to clarify this article.

To be clear, I do not believe in the sanctity of marriage. Generally, I think marriage is a load of bollocks and I strongly recommend against it to anyone and everyone who will listen. While my own marriage happens to be a good one, I realize how very fortunate I am to have it and I recognize fully that not many people respond as successfully when put in a similar institution. Not only that, but some of the happiest couples I know have never gotten married, although they have remained in committed relationships for decades.

I don’t believe in God. But even if I did, I don’t think he gives a damn who I fuck or shack up with. The idea of marriage being a ‘holy union’ is utterly preposterous to me.

Additionally, I very strongly believe in less government and will insist until the day I die that politicians should stay the fuck out our private matters unless there is a child being abused. So yeah, the piece of paper doesn’t mean shit to me.

What I have a problem with is the idea that marriage is a bigger commitment than having a child. The trivialization of parenthood in this modern world sets my teeth on edge.

If I were to meet a pregnant, unwed Mother who told me that while she loved her partner and was committed to him completely, she would not be getting married because she didn’t think it was necessary to legalize her love, then I would applaud her wholeheartedly.

If I were to meet the same pregnant, unwed Mother, only this time she claimed that she might like to get married someday, but maybe not to her unborn child’s Father because she didn’t really know him that well and wasn’t sure that she wanted him as a life partner, then I would have to fight the urge to knock her vacant little teeth out.

THE SECOND YOU GET KNOCKED UP, YOU HAVE MADE A LIFELONG COMMITMENT TO A MAN. IF YOU DON’T KNOW HIM WELL ENOUGH TO KNOW WHETHER OR NOT YOU’RE READY TO MAKE THAT KIND OF COMMITMENT TO HIM, THEN YOU SHOULDN’T BE HAVING HIS CHILD!

Most people nowadays don’t seem to realize that there is no commitment greater than having a child. The decision to bring human life into this world is one that should be made carefully, after much thought and planning, and it should never, ever, ever be taken lightly. A child deserves that much.

Yet, we have children being brought into this world right now by people who don’t even know if they like each other. Hell, I’ve seen people stress over which cell phone they’re going to buy for months on end only to decide offhandedly one day that maybe they’re going to take a crack at ‘this whole parenting thing.’ That’s a tragedy and the only people who suffer are the kids.

Part of being a responsible parent is taking care to choose the right Father (Or Mother-guys, you don’t get off that easy!) for your children. If you can’t be bothered to even do that, then how can I trust you to feed your children? How can I trust you to make sure they get an education? How can I trust you to be kind and fair and loving and firm? How can I know that your child won’t someday grow up to steal my car? Or drive drunk down my neighborhood streets? Or murder my child because he grew up angry and neglected after you failed to raise him properly?

When parents fail to make a joint commitment to each other and their children, all of society suffers from their irresponsibility.

So to clarify, a bastard child is a child brought into this world without any care or planning on the part of his parents. The very fact that he exists without committed parents who intend to raise him in the best possible way, as if his life is no more important a decision to make than the decision to buy a new washing machine is, is an attitude we should all be ashamed of.

Once again, I say: just say ‘NO!’ to bastard children.

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