Small Business Drama and The Something Store

April 30th, 2008.

To those of you who are wondering about possible connections between my lack of updates and my charity challenge, let me assure that there is no conspiracy whatsoever. I’ve just been on vacation. I didn’t mention it before I left for two reasons:

1. It’s really none of your goddamn business.
2. I thought I might get bored and update anyway.

Turns out, I didn’t get bored enough to update. Sorry.

Also, if you’re wondering what kind of spoiled, entitled bitch needs a month long vacation from absolutely nothing, I have only one thing to say to you:


The truth is, despite my lack of job, per se, I’ve been incredibly busy. Awhile back ago, I got it into my head that I was going to start my own business and make a difference and blah, blah, blah. You know me, once I get a nutty idea in my head; I’m almost helpless against it.

As it turns out, starting a business is not as easy as I first imagined. It’s doable, of course, but it very quickly became clear to me that I’d have to dedicate an extremely large portion of my life to it if I seriously wanted to be successful. This meant that I would have to eliminate some of my other, less important daily obligations.

Obviously, this website came under fire.

I said to myself, “Self. What would you rather do? Start your own business? Or blog on the goddamn Internet?”

The answer was a big, fat DUH.

I’m really big on telling people to follow their dreams, so I’d be a fool not to take my own advice. Unfortunately for me, I’ve never really dreamed of becoming a professional blogger. I didn’t do this for the book deals. (Indeed, I turned down the ones that were offered to me) I didn’t do this for the comment extravaganzas/ego boosts. (No comments here) And I certainly didn’t do it for a chance to attend one of those blogging conference wank fests. (Audible groan) No offense to the crazy mombots who have obviously made this shit their life, but I happen to dream bigger than that.

Besides, writing online kind of feels like trying to dam a raging river with one hand; it’s an exercise in futility. So, I decided to give it up.

However, after fully immersing myself in this small business start-up world, I accidentally stumbled onto a whole new realm of things to bitch about. For example, writing a business plan fucking sucks, people.

For those of you who don’t know, a business plan is roughly a 20 page book full of made up numbers and estimated profits you could make should you find anyone dumb enough to lend money to you. Although it’s ultimately a book of speculation and bullshit, it is seriously frowned upon to write things like, “[Business name] should be making 10 BILLION DOLLARS A WEEK within 3 weeks of opening!” Apparently, they like it better when you say things like, “[Business name] will net a $40,000 profit in its first year and increase revenue by 20% every year thereafter” even though both sentences were pulled from the same stinky asshole. Furthermore, money lenders don’t necessarily find it funny when you mockingly refer to it as ‘The Book of Lies,’ either.

But, I digress.

Honestly, I’m still not sure what I’m going to do about this website. Either I will abandon it completely or I’ll keep it around so I can sporadically post about my personal and professional endeavors. I suppose it’s really up to you, my readers, and what you all find interesting. If you’re somewhat curious about ‘what comes next’ and want to accompany me on the ride, I suppose I’ll keep pumping shit out. (Although probably not as often) If ‘what comes next’ bores the shit out of you and/or makes you whine incessantly about how this site isn’t as good as it used to be, waaaahhh, then I won’t waste my time.

Until that day comes, though, I’ve got a charity challenge to run. As of right now, we are still painfully, painfully short from our goal having only raised $4,269 and it honestly doesn’t look like it’s going to happen. I hope this means some of you donated privately and not via my contest. What? A girl can dream, can’t she?

Anyway, if it will motivate you guys to donate more, Sami from The Something Store has generously offered her assistance in providing additional incentive. From now until the contest ends, if you donate $10 or more, I will randomly select 10 people to receive a surprise gift from The Something Store.

The Something Store is a cute little online store that will send you a surprise gift for $10. To learn more about them, including the types of things they send, please check them out here.

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