More Gift Giving and the Last Psychiatrist

June 4th, 2008.

When I bitched about the current GIMMEE culture, I realize I never offered a solution to the problem. Instead, I merely insisted that gift giving traditions, in their current forms, are greedy and rude.

Furthermore, I somewhat agree with the idea that it’s also rude to write a ‘no gifts’ request in your party invitation. I don’t think it’s as rude as including a goddamn wish list in there, mind you, but it’s still impolite nonetheless. Very vaguely, it does imply you were expecting a gift in the first place. Not only that, but if someone really wants to give you a gift, you are kinda refusing them and that’s pretty ungrateful.

So how do you refrain from being a greedy jackass while still retaining your manners? Well, I don’t know about all of you, but I’ve simply quit throwing gift themed parties.

Don’t have a birthday party for your kids. Just have a party. Invite all her friends over to hang out, eat some food, and have a little fun. You can casually forget to mention it’s her birthday in the invitation. Explain to your child that parties are about friendships as opposed to new toys. Tell her that the party itself is a gift. For family members who realize that it’s a birthday and ask about bringing a gift, you can quietly ask them not to bring a gift to the party because you don’t want to make the other guests uncomfortable. If they give your child a gift at a later date, great. If not, also great.

Quit having bachelor parties, wedding showers, etc. In fact, quit having weddings all together. I’ve said this before, but weddings are nothing more than an expensive show off day for women with princess complexes. Don’t indulge in that crap. Instead, go get married and throw an informal party for your friends and family at a later date.

Mother’s day. Father’s day. Valentine’s day. Secretary’s day. Quit celebrating them. You don’t need a holiday to validate your personal relationships. Hallmark should not dictate to you when and how you honor you parents, lovers, and coworkers!

Baby showers could still be somewhat useful for first born children (And first born children only) assuming the family is in legitimate need.

Throwing a party because junior graduated from anything or because you’re ‘house warming’ or recently engaged is just obvious present grubbing. I’m guessing that if you’re stooping this low, you have no interest in manners. You’re too obsessed with stuff to worry about cultivating meaningful personal relationships. Yeah. I’m judging you. What of it?

No matter what, it is always rude to have a wish list, gift registry, or to ask people to donate to any sort of ‘fund’ when they are buying you a present. If you receive a give, love whatever it is simply because someone thought of you and how cool is that?

Anyway, that’s my solution. Take it for what you will.

In other news, I am completely fascinated with this site. I’m particularly partial to this article and pretty much everything he’s written on narcissism, borderline personality disorder, and pornography. I totally want this guy to psychoanalyze me. If only to see if what he says matches up with what all my other shrinks said.

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