Crazy Woman Stabs Tire; Results Not as Planned

September 4th, 2008.

Last night, at around midnight, I decided to go to the bank. This is not unusual for me considering I have multiple bank accounts for multiple purposes. If I had my druthers, I’d keep all my money in one master account, but my accountant strenuously insists that I remain somewhat organized. Since I pay him good money for advice, I grudgingly follow it. Unfortunately this usually means I cannot visit an ATM machine without a gang bang-esque line forming behind me as I fumble around completing a long list of transactions. To circumvent this, I usually wait to stealthily visit the ATM late at night. Like a ninja.

Granted, most people would just complete their bank transactions without worrying a bit about the line forming behind them. However, most people are not half the neurotic mess of a person that I am. I can’t stand the idea that I might inadvertently hold someone up by acting like clumsy senile retard. I am the type of person who, if someone steps in line behind me at the grocery store, will panic and scoop my change up into my fucking shirt in a mad dash to move out of the way as quickly as possible. Coupons? Store card discount? Purse not closed yet? Fuck it all! There’s someone behind me!

So you can all imagine my dismay last night when I noticed a car rounding the corner of the bank parking lot in order to get in line behind me at the ATM. My heart dropped down to my stomach as I frantically tried to complete a least one more bank transaction. Unfortunately, the last transaction was a deposit and those machines only suck the envelopes in at one excruciatingly slow speed.

As the woman in the car pulled up behind me, I heard her say, “OH COME ON!” Obviously, she was perturbed that I was in line ahead of her.

At first I blushed and ducked my head. Then I thought to myself: What the fuck? It’s not like I can instantly disappear!

Then, I started to get angry. I mean, here I was, cutting my trip to the ATM short only because I was over worried about her time…and she couldn’t even give me five fucking seconds to retrieve my card from the machine? Well, if that’s the way she was going to be, fuck her.

Furious, I screamed at her, “I will wait here all night if you’re going to be a BITCH about it!”

At first, silence was her only reply.

Then an equally angry voice yelled back, “If you don’t move right now, I’ll call the police!”

The first thought that entered my mind was surely (surely!) the police had better things to do than mediate an argument over a fucking ATM machine. But then I considered the town I live in and it slowly dawned on me that there is no way in Hell the police had anything better to do than hassle me at the request of the Impatient Bitch behind me.

So I did the only thing I could do in that situation. I got my card from the ATM and pulled away, head hung low, like a beaten puppy.

HA! You all don’t know me very well, do you?

I could no more walk away from a confrontation like that than I could swallow an apple whole. I just don’t have the physical capability.

Instead, I reached into my center counsel, grabbed a switchblade, and jumped out of my car. Then, I rammed the blade directly into my own car tire. It started losing air immediately. The woman, who was watching me via the light above the ATM machine, looked stunned.

“Go ahead and call them,” I curtly insisted, “I couldn’t move my car now even if I wanted to. And I need some help with this flat tire anyway.”

“I can’t…believe…you just…” she stuttered. Then perhaps considering the late hour and the fact that I was obviously unhinged, she started her car and pulled away without completing her sentence.

I watched her drive away, triumphant.

Of course, my victory was short lived. After all, I had just stranded myself at the bank with a flat tire. And no spare.

Putting my head in my hands, I thought to myself: V, for once in your entire miserable pathetic excuse for a life can you refrain from cutting off your own nose to spite someone else’s face?

The truth is I don’t think I can.

Oh well. At least I was able to finish my bank transactions in peace.

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87 Responses to Crazy Woman Stabs Tire; Results Not as Planned

  1. Wow

    Holy shit! I can’t believe comments are open!

  2. Priscilla

    I laughed til I cried. Now I know why I don’t give in to those urges.

  3. XM

    @wow: I know! Now I KNOW V has officially gone crazy!

    @everyone else: Hello VA readers! I look forward to the fun we have here until V inevitably realizes her mistake and shuts the comments off again!

  4. Trey Anderson

    Lol. Holy shit. You are nuts. You know that lady went home and was like “You are not going to believe what the crazy bitch did at the ATM!”

  5. schleppie

    Yeah, riiiight.
    And you just happen to carry a SWITCHBLADE, too.

    You don’t write all that well and what you do write is very contrived and predictable. Keep practicing, though, one day you might write something halfway believable like all the other BullShitting Bloggers out there.

    I can see you ran out of material after a very short time.

  6. Elizabeth Miller

    I’m not surprised that V carries a switch blade.

    I am surprised she carries it in her center counsel and not strapped to her thigh like some crazed version of greek amazon warrior bitch.

    Tsk, tsk. V. You lost cool points with that one.

  7. /dev/null

    Well, it’s better than backing into her at ramming speed… if only because of the paperwork. I gotta say, though, that that was actually a pretty cool way to handle the situation.

    And I bet the expression on Bitchy Lady’s face was priceless.

  8. /dev/null

    You mean you don’t carry one?

  9. VA: Crazy Woman Stabs Tire; Results Not as Planned

    […] Original post: Crazy Woman Stabs Tire; Results Not as Planned […]

  10. Dan

    Insanely stupid. And utterly cool.
    And most definitely the kind of thing a red-blooded male guy would have done 😉

  11. Joanna

    That’s hilarious, but I can relate. I once broke my computer so that my sister couldn’t use it(I don’t remember why), of course the smug sense of superiority soon faded away after I realised I couldn’t afford to get it fixed.

  12. Jules

    You really inspire me to have more guts in frustrating situations like that. Thanks for opening comments, too, V!

  13. jaxs

    HELL YES!! Way to go… but… you don’t really care what any of us think anyways, now, do you? =)


  14. Elvis

    Has this blog been hacked by a poseur?

    “I am the type of person who, if someone steps in line behind me at the grocery store, will panic and scoop my change up into my fucking shirt in a mad dash to move out of the way as quickly as possible.”

    I don’t believe this for a minute. It also doesn’t jibe with previous entries. (NyQuil, anyone?)

  15. Spenny

    The main reason I like this site is because you seem both genuine and unfathomably different than myself.
    For the love of (insert deity here), don’t let the mundane comments (perhaps this one included) of the general internet populace waste the energies of your brain and my source of amusement.

  16. Elvis

    “I can’t stand the idea that I might inadvertently hold someone up by acting like clumsy senile retard.”

    Oh please.

    “If you don’t have the guts to step outside of your comfort zones, you will never grow and change as a person. If being well liked is more important than being yourself, then you will never say anything of value and you will never have true friends. If you don’t have the balls to be hated, then you don’t deserve to be loved.”

  17. A Nonny Moose

    Hmm. The moment V opens the site for comments, who step in but the crustaceans she doesn’t have time for.

    Schleppie, you brought the wrong attitude into the wrong place. And if you have to question why she has a switchblade, you haven’t read V’s history thoroughly.

    And V, I’ve wanted to say it for a very long time…Power To You, lady.

  18. M

    Hooray for posting! You were missed.

    @ Elvis: As she makes clear within the post, sometimes our neuroses conflict with our reasoned opinions and otherwise-standad personality traits. However, nothing here is out of character relative to previous posts:
    1. V has an irrational thing about inconveniencing people
    2. V realizes this is stupid and lashes out in typically outrageous fashion

  19. dd

    .. no. This was just crazy. You would not tell your spouse “HELLYEAH” if you got a phone call saying “I just slashed my own tires because some bitch rushed me.” You would call that spouse any number of names and consider divorce.

    Saying it on the internet doesn’t make it cool.

  20. Helen Burdette

    I’ve been reading this blog for a fairly long time. I don’t read many blogs. I like the Sartorialist and Kristopher Dukes.
    Violent Acres is special to me because it is not updated very often any more, and sometimes the entries are bizarre, but the stories shine. I’ve read several of them many times, returning to the post. That’s never happened before to me on the internet.
    It’s also genuinely funny.
    I really appreciate your work and am impressed it reappears. It’s all too rare someone with talent writes about their life and experiences with the goal of benefiting others with their humor.

    Thank you.

  21. Elvis

    “1. V has an irrational thing about inconveniencing people”

    Bullshit. I can read. She revels in inconveniencing people.

    You don’t take jars of candy and cause scenes at WalMart unless you enjoy inconveniencing people.

    You don’t slam on your brakes in front of another car unless you enjoy inconveniencing people.

    You don’t say:

    “That day I learned that there is a time and place to play nice. I play nice with my family. I play nice with my friends. Hell, I sometimes even play nice with polite company. But when the time comes for me to make a financial decision that is detrimental to the wellbeing of myself and my family, then no. I don’t play nice.

    I play to win”

    if you have an “irrational thing” about inconveniencing people.

    You don’t just stop going to work if you have an irrational thing about inconveniencing people.

    I already mentioned the NyQuil story.

    Need I go on?

  22. lisa

    hell, I carry a switchblade too and I’m a meek little thing. Why not arm yourself when going somewhere in the middle of the night with money?

  23. VentCover

    That is so fucking badass. I applaud you and all your actions, and revel in the fact that there’s someone else out there that does this kind of shit.

    Elvis: have you thought that maybe it’s convenience that is sending the country down the tubes? People need to start thinking and acting for themselves instead of worrying about convenience and having everything handed to them.

  24. Chicken Girl

    Open comments?! Who are you and what have you done with V?!

    Hey, question: If you have that much crap to do every time you go to the bank, why don’t you go inside and let the teller fumble around like a clumsy senile retard? Just wondering.

  25. Karin

    V, it feels great to be able to publish a comment here. I am a big admirer of your guts and drive. You write beautifully. Keep it on!

  26. Andy

    Why? Because fuck them, that’s why.

    A lesser person would probably have done something annoying but technically rational to mess with this lady, like maybe withdrawing money from the ATM and depositing it over and over until it ran out of envelopes, then just pulling money from it in the smallest possible increments over and over. But this would only serve to piss that lady off, which while rewarding in and of itself, wouldn’t be the best possible result. When the worst that can happen to you for acting like a bitch/asshole is having to deal with another bitch/asshole, you don’t really have enough incentive to stop being a bitch/asshole. Odds are you feel you can out-bitch/asshole the other person. But Bitch can’t beat Crazy. Crazy wins every time.

    Hopefully this person realizes that the next person she inflicts her bitchiness on could be another unstable person who might or might not stop at inflicting damage on themselves and will think twice. V ruined a perfectly good tire, but with any luck this lady will be a better person for it. Once again V’s crazy and amusing antics have probably made the world a better place. And if not, it’s still pretty damn funny.

  27. Ceal

    I am amused. With that said; V, for the love of sanity, close down your comments before the stupidity becomes contagious.

  28. keeper13

    woah, comments…is this to make up for only updating once a month? and V, we all do that, your not half as neurotic as you think you are.

  29. Troy

    I’m kind of in shock that comments are allowed… when I saw ’29 comments’ or whatever there I thought maybe I was hallucinating (I am very sleep deprived right now, so its entirely possible). I think you have the most compelling web content I have ever come across and I felt equally compelled to tell you that – I don’t know why! I only stumbled across your site in the last few days and I think I’ve read pretty much everything. Your writing seriously rocks. Seriously. Thanks again.

  30. rajiv

    Absolutely smashing..!!! The most amazing thing u cud have done ..!!! Just too good..!!!

  31. Christy A

    Reminds me of a woman I know. She was trying to reverse park her car when a young man zipped into the parking space she was in the process of getting into and yelled out of his window “This is what you can do when you can drive!”.

    She reversed hard into his car and yelled back “This is what you can do when you have money!”. Her insurance had to pay for the damage, of course, but the man will probably think twice before pulling that trick again.

  32. Liz L.

    Ahahahaaha! Damned funny; thank you.

  33. DJ

    Been a big fan of yours for a LONG time and just wanted to say thank you. Thanks also for introducing me to the genius that is BC Woods. I now have one more thing to feel my overly boring life.

  34. work it

    so even v has a neurotic side? wow would never of guessed… that was arse kicking by the way, but i would totally have saved the tyre.

  35. M Kelly

    Wow…just wanted to say I LOVE your site. Don’t know if I would slash my own tire but you certainly made your point.

  36. OMG-V-ILoveyoumarry me!

    YAY, for comments, please marry me!
    I’m a chick BTW.

  37. Mrs Parks

    I think this is the best post I have ever read in my whole entire life.
    I’m not kidding.

  38. Mercy

    Goddamn, I missed you, lady.

  39. Valerie

    Wow, very good strategy, in a weird kind of way. One could also take one’s shirt off and start singing loudly, or address the annoying person in a made-up language, or sign language.

  40. treeson

    I have that same problem about inconveniencing people – my heart drops to the vicinity of somewhere around my knees, my palms start sweating, ringing in my ears – and, though it’s irrational, I can see myself doing something drastic to get over it.

    Seriously, I love this blog. Especially when stories like these are posted. This blog is a mix of the average self-help and the outrageous. I love it.

  41. dirvish

    Wow, you really are crazy.

  42. Dawnwolfe

    This reminds me of a story told to me by one of my ex-step-brothers. He had a partially wooden leg as the result of a motorcycle accident.

    One night in a bar, he was being hounded by a drunk woman who was trying con him into buying her drinks. She was jabbering at him non-stop; he couldn’t get a word in edgewise, let alone tell her to please go away.

    Instead of getting angry or yelling, he very calmly pulled *his* switchblade out of his pocket and jammed it into his fake knee while smiling at her. She passed out and fell off her stool, and he was able to finish his drink in peace.

  43. Fancy

    I’m extremely confused. I have been waiting eons to tell you how very much I enjoy your writing. I finally get to tell you that, and it turns out some assholes were also waiting to tell you how much they dislike you? WTF have they been waiting for? I don’t understand a mentality of checking back on a site that you don’t like to get the opportunity to tell someone that you don’t like them. Especially since you have not even been the nicest person toward people that like you! That inspires me to like you even more. Your bad-ass-ness inspires wimps like me to grow a backbone. That is what I have been waiting to tell you. Thank you.

  44. bitsy

    Love, love, love the blog. Have taken your real estate advice and purchased my second property before my 31st birthday! I am very proud of myself… For once in my life.

    I must point out, though, that I am am supremely surprised that you would make a deposit at an ATM machine! These things are notorious for effing up transactions and that little receipt they give you? Doesn’t mean a thing if they lost the check or cash. I learned my lesson the hard way, unfortunately. Tellers are fallible, mind you, but at least there is a witness and paper trail.

  45. GJ

    I agree with fancy, the stories in this blog – and people like yourself – inspire wimps like me to get a spine and start living. And also to let out the crazy now and again 🙂

  46. L


    I totally understand this logic.

    You only did what Jesus would do.

  47. Alessandra

    Elvis, I don’t think V’s actions are contradictory at all. She is always extremely polite, to point of obsession, when the situation is about politeness. Business is NOT about politeness. Yes, you can and should be courteous when doing business, but being to nice is giving permition to get screwd.

    I’m also extremely concerned about not being in other people’s way. But if I’m playing nice and people are rude, oh boy. I can become a bit of a crazy bitch myself – though not nearly as much as V. She’s right about the fact that she’s not a very good person, but heh, I like her anyway. I actually think I like her for it.

  48. Byron

    This website was recently sold at auction. The author professed a lack of interest in maintaining it and was ready to move on to other things. The author said that he/she would consider posting occasionally for a fee. Based on this post, it is reasonable to determine that the author has moved on and the new owner or his/her guests have taken over the reins. RIP Violent Acres.

  49. Elizabeth Miller

    Er…it reads exactly like a VA post to me. Her writing style would be pretty difficult to fake and this post nailed her almost exactly. Personally, I couldn’t care less if she owns the site or only posts as a paid writer…as long as she’s still writing. Which she obviously still is.

  50. Rob

    wow brilliant, I’m the same way with people i hate to hold them off, only thing though i envy that you can cut your own nose off to spite someone else’s face, i can’t do that, i just use their own face 😉

  51. Christine


    you get me every time.


  52. stone

    You are my hero.

  53. Jay

    Oh Christ, comments? This is going to turn into a clusterfuck.

  54. Frank

    Nice story. A lotta angst.

    Stupid thing to do tho’. If the cops had been called, with enough witnesses there, you could have spent the night in the slammer. – Folks could have said you threatened them with the blade…

    After all, you conveniently left evidence that
    a. You had a knife, and it was out and open
    b. You’re not the most mainstream individual.

    Not to mention that cameras are now standard fare at ATM’s…

    Good luck in life. I enjoyed your post on stab and twist. I could have used more backbone myself when i was younger. Been working on growing one….

  55. Jeroen

    I have the same “O man, there’s someone behind…gotta hurry” problem, if you find a way to fix it…please tell me.
    And by the way, you left the A out between like and clumsy in the sentence “I can’t stand the idea that I might inadvertently hold someone up by acting like clumsy senile retard.”

  56. Donal

    If you’re going to make something up, why not also make it entertaining?

  57. schleppie

    The thing is-
    Do people believe V’s stories as the ver batim truth?
    Or are you just reading for the fiction factor? Because that’s fine. I just get irritated with people who believe everything they read.

  58. Ary

    What the flying hell is up with you people? Do you all get some sort of bizarre thrill out of picking apart what you read on the Internet? Are you the same tard monkeys who analyze a joke word by word to try to figure out why it’s funny? Who the fuck CARES if this is or is not V, whether it was or was not a real incident, and whether or not the story is consistent with the rest of the website? It’s fucking funny, regardless.

  59. C

    I’m the same way about getting in people’s way, up until the point that they get huffy about it. Then, no matter how much it is or isn’t my fault, I stop caring. I only care about inconveniencing polite people.

    Of course I’m a big hypocrite about it because I’ll roll my eyes at people who dig in their purse for exact change or what have you.

    I think I’d have gone the more passive-aggressive “I’m doing my transactions slow to spite you” route. I don’t think I’ve got a knife quite that strong. Or balls quite that big.

    I predict getting your tire replaced will be another adventure in “my husband is not the boss of me” like getting the truck in your first place.

    I hope for your own sake that you don’t get some sort of email notification for your comments. If it was done on purpose, or if all these allegations about the site being under new management are true, well, I suppose you/new owner should have expected it.

  60. sk3ptic

    Although cool story, it’s obviously fiction

  61. Yerba

    I laughed – one, because I’m a person who hates the idea of holding up a line at a register or ATM and always spazzes out trying to get out of the way of the person behind me; two, because I carry a switchblade too. You don’t work at a ghetto hotel for two and a half years without being inclined to carry something sharp.

  62. tabascosauceandeggs

    Comments at Violent Acres, eh?

    Right now, I’m just commenting because I can. And also so I can say that I wish V would update more.

  63. Barbara

    Hmmmm…aren’t switchblades illegal? Good thing the lady didn’t call your bluff.

  64. Elvis

    Good lord, people. All I did was state an obvious fact, one that should be obvious to anyone capable of reading comprehension on an above grade school level.

    This blog entry was NOT written by the same person who wrote all the previous entries.

    I did not criticize the idea of striking out at assholes (I keep a knife AND an ice pick in my car) or claim that V is anything other than twisted and neurotic.

    All I said was that this story does not jibe with the quality or the details of previous confessions of said neurotic behavior and when something doesn’t make consistent sense, it’s because it’s a lie.

    I swear, some of you are so dumb and so desperate, you would believe anything. The poseur V could crap on the floor right in front of your eyes and then claim that it was really the original V who crapped on the floor and you would praise the pile to high heaven and never notice the stench or the deception.

    In the immortal words of Dean Wormer, “fat, drunk and stupid is no way to go through life.”

  65. Elvis

    Read it and weep, morons.

    P.S. Smart people always use a fake email address when they post on blogs that can’t be trusted.


  66. Elvis

    P.P.S. Don’t neglect to read the comments below the listing.

    She who no longer craps on the floor posted several times.

  67. Elizabeth Miller

    Yeah, I saw that Elvis. I also saw where it said “RESERVE PRICE NOT MET” in big black letters in the upper left hand corner. Correct me if I’m wrong by ‘Reserve Price Not Met’ and ‘SOLD’ are two totally different things, aren’t they?

  68. leah

    to schleppie:

    um, i carry a blade at the insistence of my husband. and he taught me how to efficiently use it. i’m not gonna be some dumb bitch who lies there in tears while someone rapes her. but hey, if that’s your thing… that’s your thing. have at it 🙂

    (i carry pepper spray, too. i must be mythical!)

  69. leah

    now that i’ve read all the comments… oh hey, all this drama, stupid comments. makes me want to wander off in search of something a little less reminiscent of livejournal. *yawn*

    not to lick V’s ass or anything, but i just can’t see her even bothering to try and “sell” her blog. besides, if anyone purchased it, it would for sure be someone who was insulted by her and decide to psychotically stalk her… y’know who i mean.

  70. old fan

    I’m w/ ya Byron & Elvis. Nice work, V and thanks for all the great post. You’ll be missed.

  71. A Nonny Moose

    Hey Schleppie, you keep right on going showing how little you have read of V’s story. She has stated that “names/places/people have been changed or merge to protect the innocent”.

    But you go right on shitting on the stories of abused kids of this world, and the people who try to make a difference in their community.

    Who’s the bigger asshole?

  72. eep

    But did you stab and twist?

  73. Andi

    V, been reading your blog for some time. Overall, you rock! Thanks.

  74. Elvis is not dead

    And all this time I thought Elvis was dead..Now that the obvious has been pointed out by the once deceased Elvis and he’s clarified that he’s smarter than everyone I can sleep better at night!

  75. Webmaster

    You crazy bitch, thanks for finally turning comments on. Will you please hurry and make fun of some mommybloggers again?

  76. Heaven's Thunder Hammer

    Wow. I have read many articles on this blog and really like what V has written over all. I think sometimes she’s freaked out at other people do to their inherent different views and frame of reference when interpreting what the other has said. (I’m thinking of V’s wars with other bloggers over fatness for instance.)

    That said, I think this article doesn’t have the same ring of truth to it, at least at the very end. I really think V left ticked off and has posted what she wished she did, rather than what happened.

    I really hope this blog hasn’t been sold, as I really like the genuineness of the blog so far. Any proof it’s been sold?

  77. rt

    your an idiot.

  78. foo

    Her an idiot what?

  79. Belgaer

    I haven’t been to the website in awhile because I signed up for the email updates, and I had no idea we were allowed to comment until yesterday’s post arrived in my inbox this afternoon. So I’m here to say…

    This is one of my favorite blogs. Some of the entries make my brain want to jump in a vat of acid, but for reading the better part of a year I have emerged mostly unscarred and I’ve enjoyed it. “Better to be dead, than to live your life afraid” is on my list of important quotes (although I no longer remember which entry it came from). Just wanted to add a tally to the “V is awesome” column. Thanks for sharing with all of us.

  80. t5

    a turdly load of bs

  81. robbo

    silly sod.
    Marry me 🙂

  82. David

    I feel your pain. I try getting out of lines as fast as I can because I don’t want people behind me to hate me.

  83. Sami

    Great way to deal with the situation. Extreme, maybe a bit too harsh on yourself. But the impatient woman can’t call the cops, since you could say it was her who stabbed your tire. You would win in that case. And I guess she will be more patient next time, since you can’t be sure what the crazy woman in front of you might do. Damaging yourself is very scary thing, psychologically thinking. If you do that to yourself, what you could do to me?

    I perhaps wouldn’t do that thing, since I am more of those impatient people. Otherwise I can be quite zen and adjust to human stupidity. But queues are something I loathe myself for going in to. So I am angry at myself and you in front of me are making it last longer.

    ATM is a very simple thing. Insert card, type in your pin, press the button how much money you have, take the card out, take the money out, take the receipt out, insert them into your wallet, walk away. The buttons you press are not going to switch places. You don’t need to double- and triple-check every thing on the screen. The €100 button will be in the same location as at the previous time. And the previous. And the previous. If you can’t learn the buttons, go inside the bank to do your business.

    I get very frustrated if people are thinking about their own pin for more than 5 seconds. Can’t remember 4 digits? ATM is not for you. Bills I never pay in machines. Too lazy. Been paying over teh interwebs ever since the first interweb bankings came about a decade ago. No queues.

    But I hate queues anyways. There’s always a shorter line somewhere.

    In spite of this, yes, I may let you pass me on the queue at a shop if I have plenty of stuff and you have only couple of items. If I do so, maybe someday other people will let me pass if I have only few items. But yes, I will make a highly sarcastic comment if you decide to pay your can of pop and a chocolate bar in small coins while trying to find a coupon for one of the items. It even may be a nasty comment. If someone lets you pass, you pay with a note or a card. And if your coupon is in your wallet when you need to pay, let it stay there. It was too late. Actually, F U if you even have a coupon or any supermarket’s card.

  84. Jay

    I’m sick and tires that you hate hippes at laast we realy did try to make a diference in this whole big hairy world and if you still don’t like us even by todays screwed up pc then you can all just bite me! we are still here and some of us are never going away until we are dragged aeway dead. i do not condon your thinking that we are all some kind of drugged out wierdos who have never stopped living in the 60’s or something!

    so if you stil don’t get what that was all about back then and how it still applys today then screw you all!

  85. Katie

    I haven’t visited your site in a while, but man, I gotta tell you, you still crack me the hell up. I love that you can both make me mad and make me laugh at the same time. Your writing is so polarizing – and I love it. Keep up the good work!

    Right now I am laughing the hardest at one of your previous entries, describing Leta Armstrong as a nematode. I am so glad I am not the only one who thinks that kid is a hand-flapper!

  86. SaveOurSkyline

    Sure you did, V. That sounds like a story someone would go to the trouble of fabricating and blogging about because it’s what she wished she had done. Complete with knife-wielding superhero antics and a humiliating blubbering concession of defeat – victory! I hope it made you feel better about slinking off.

  87. ?

    This is not going to be in line with any of the comments above, but…

    You guys have drive-thru ATMs?!?!


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