What. A. Fucking. Headache.
Seriously, people. My eyes are bleeding here! Some of you just shortened my goddamn lifespan by 10 years with your insipid blubbering. Thanks a lot.
I was going to wait to write about this after things were finalized a bit more and I had, you know, accurate information to give you, but since some of you seem intent on riding my fucking ass until I talk about it NOW NOW NOW, here I am. And fuck you.
Before I go any further, I want to address the comments where people insist my last updates were ghost written and the proof is in the ‘subpar writing.’ To that I say: Bwhahahahahaha! Hey dummies! My writing has always been shitty. You were just too stupid to realize it before. That’s what happens when you read my site sober. My advice is to either get liquored up before reading or just accept the fact that I’m not the next Shakespeare now. Either way, I’ll be good goddamned if I’m going to take a ‘is this the REALLY REAL V test?’ before every update. Fuck you again.
So, I’m sure you’re all wondering: Has the website been sold?
The answer? Yes and no. The site will likely be sold sometime in the future. Right now, I can’t tell you exactly when. Like I said above, the details have not been finalized yet.
What does that mean for you, the faithful reader? In a phrase? Absolutely nothing.
You see, the main requirement for the sale of the website is that I stay here and post for you fucking ingrates. I mean, what kind of flaming simpleton would buy a website currently centered around a particular author only to fire said author? Newsflash people! No one that ignorant has the financial means to make a shit business deal like that even if they wanted to. If and when VA is sold, I will most definitely be sticking around to post. It’s in the goddamn contract.
So why I am I considering selling?
Well, for a couple of reasons. The first is that I’ve been extremely busy lately. Further, when I started this crap, I never considered exactly how much maintenance is involved in running a website of this size. Deleting spam, approving track backs, making sure everything was working right, working with advertisers, etc, started sucking up what little free time I had left. I found myself in a position where I was spending almost all of my free time simply maintaining the website and almost no time actually writing for the website. This meant no updates for you. I figured if I could find someone willing to do the grunt work for the site (in exchange for the majority of the profits), I could kick back, relax, write, and use this site for its original intended purpose: A pleasant way for me to kill time.
Also, once upon a time, I told myself I was going to use this site to raise $10,000 for charity. As you all know, I failed and only managed to get a shade over $5,500. If you’ve been reading me long enough, you will know that failure tends to make me more determined. So if I can’t raise $10,000 via reader donations, I am going to do my best to figure out another way to raise it. Deal.
So, in closing, yes I’m still here. Yes, it’s actually me writing. Yes, I will be here writing for a long time. Yes, you will be notified if I ever decide to quit completely. Yes, you may notice some changes in the layout, with comments, etc. No, that doesn’t mean a nefarious IMPOSTER has taken over my posts. It only means that the actual mechanics of running the website are no longer my concern and my only function here is that of a dancing monkey.
Which is all you ever really wanted from me anyway, right? Right? Good. Now shut the fuck up.
(To the handful of you with common sense who left thoughtful comments, thank you. Thank you from the very bottom of my cold, black heart. If not for you, I would have thrown myself in front of a goddamn bus.)
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