Will the Real V Please Stand Up?

September 9th, 2008.

What. A. Fucking. Headache.

Seriously, people. My eyes are bleeding here! Some of you just shortened my goddamn lifespan by 10 years with your insipid blubbering. Thanks a lot.

I was going to wait to write about this after things were finalized a bit more and I had, you know, accurate information to give you, but since some of you seem intent on riding my fucking ass until I talk about it NOW NOW NOW, here I am. And fuck you.

Before I go any further, I want to address the comments where people insist my last updates were ghost written and the proof is in the ‘subpar writing.’ To that I say: Bwhahahahahaha! Hey dummies! My writing has always been shitty. You were just too stupid to realize it before. That’s what happens when you read my site sober. My advice is to either get liquored up before reading or just accept the fact that I’m not the next Shakespeare now. Either way, I’ll be good goddamned if I’m going to take a ‘is this the REALLY REAL V test?’ before every update. Fuck you again.

So, I’m sure you’re all wondering: Has the website been sold?

The answer? Yes and no. The site will likely be sold sometime in the future. Right now, I can’t tell you exactly when. Like I said above, the details have not been finalized yet.

What does that mean for you, the faithful reader? In a phrase? Absolutely nothing.

You see, the main requirement for the sale of the website is that I stay here and post for you fucking ingrates. I mean, what kind of flaming simpleton would buy a website currently centered around a particular author only to fire said author? Newsflash people! No one that ignorant has the financial means to make a shit business deal like that even if they wanted to. If and when VA is sold, I will most definitely be sticking around to post. It’s in the goddamn contract.

So why I am I considering selling?

Well, for a couple of reasons. The first is that I’ve been extremely busy lately. Further, when I started this crap, I never considered exactly how much maintenance is involved in running a website of this size. Deleting spam, approving track backs, making sure everything was working right, working with advertisers, etc, started sucking up what little free time I had left. I found myself in a position where I was spending almost all of my free time simply maintaining the website and almost no time actually writing for the website. This meant no updates for you. I figured if I could find someone willing to do the grunt work for the site (in exchange for the majority of the profits), I could kick back, relax, write, and use this site for its original intended purpose: A pleasant way for me to kill time.

Also, once upon a time, I told myself I was going to use this site to raise $10,000 for charity. As you all know, I failed and only managed to get a shade over $5,500. If you’ve been reading me long enough, you will know that failure tends to make me more determined. So if I can’t raise $10,000 via reader donations, I am going to do my best to figure out another way to raise it. Deal.

So, in closing, yes I’m still here. Yes, it’s actually me writing. Yes, I will be here writing for a long time. Yes, you will be notified if I ever decide to quit completely. Yes, you may notice some changes in the layout, with comments, etc. No, that doesn’t mean a nefarious IMPOSTER has taken over my posts. It only means that the actual mechanics of running the website are no longer my concern and my only function here is that of a dancing monkey.

Which is all you ever really wanted from me anyway, right? Right? Good. Now shut the fuck up.

(To the handful of you with common sense who left thoughtful comments, thank you. Thank you from the very bottom of my cold, black heart. If not for you, I would have thrown myself in front of a goddamn bus.)

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106 Responses to Will the Real V Please Stand Up?

  1. Tachs

    These people, indeed, are fucking idiots….

    But your parenting advice is awesome. It makes me realize more and more how badly my parents did with me, and are doing with my brothers.


  2. Jess

    I found your post from yesterday ironic considering that today in my business comm class the textbook encouraged projecting the image of yourself that you want others to see, regardless of whether you actually embodied the traits or not.
    I wanted to throw my book in the trash, but refrained due to the fact that it cost me $90 and I am not as impulsive as you are.
    Kudos for selling your site. Why would you sit there and do all the work when you can sit there and make money?

  3. Edward

    Why would someone want to *buy* someone elses blog?

    I mean I get the idea behind sponsorship, but buying the blog? What does that get you?

  4. XM

    “Why would someone want to *buy* someone elses blog?

    I mean I get the idea behind sponsorship, but buying the blog? What does that get you?”

    I’m guessing advertising revenue.

  5. Mia

    Why don’t you HIRE someone to do the work, instead of losing all your rights over the site?

  6. Mia

    I mean, you can hire someone to monetize correctly your blog, and pay him/her with part of the profits – that, and you won’t lose your blog, content and domain.

  7. XM

    Er…did we all miss the part where she specifically stated that she wanted the lump sum to complete the charity challenge?

    Am I the only one who read that?

  8. VA: Will the Real V Please Stand Up?

    […] Original post: Will the Real V Please Stand Up? […]

  9. Mrs Parks

    Just think of all the peoples schedules you would have screwed up by throwing yourself in front of a bus.
    I think it was very big of you to put other peoples needs before your own.

  10. Serafina

    I really don’t give a crap if V sells her site or not, as long as she keeps writing. The day she stops writing will be the day I quit reading.

  11. Chance

    I personally would have sold this thing back when it was really popular, not when your 15 minutes is up.

  12. me

    All you morons should have realized that you serve at V’s pleasure. If she wants to give you a (crap) guest writer, she will. If she wants to give you an actual entry, she will.


    Just as Sarah Palin about that…

  13. witchy

    Thanks for clarifying your position with regard to the site, V. Good to know there will continue to be venom worth reading. And thank fuck for that!!
    It’s a shame, though, that no matter how you address the comments, there will always be idiots. Be prepared for more eye bleeding and headaches.
    May the force be with you, V.

  14. treeson

    Gods, I didn’t realize so many people were morons… until I read the comments, that is. I’m just surprised you addressed it, actually, since this blog is more for your pleasure than ours.

  15. Dingo

    It’s not hard to compose an angry rant after all the RAAAGE that V has posted. I wouldn’t be surprised if this is another ghost written POS. Besides, what kind of sense would it make to buy a website if you’re going to keep it the same except for plugging a product/author/whatever? That’s what’s called advertising. Total BS.

  16. Dingo

    And all you people saying “LULZ I WUZ 2 SMRT 2 DOBT V!!!” lick my asshole because you’re full of it.

  17. Andy

    That’s just the sort of thing an IMPOSTER would say! j/k 🙂

  18. Andy

    You know, if you think about it, would it really be so bad to lose 10 years off your lifespan? That’s 10 years off of the END. Which for many people quite possibly means 10 less years of drooling, pants-shitting senility. You’re welcome.

  19. louise

    uh, dudes? it’s just a blog. enjoy it for what it is, but realize it doesn’t really exist to serve and entertain you allthetime24/7.

    if everything written here moves you the same way every time, you really need to take a look at your critical reading habits or lack thereof. no one is on the ball all the time (as reader or writer). also, this isn’t the fucking bible of the intarwebs. relax.

  20. me

    Not V.

  21. Myroid


    Just because the world is a cruel place doesn’t mean you should question everything. There’s a fine line between being a skeptic and being a dumbass.

  22. Anon

    Wow you can leave comments now. I would like to say great website, and thank you for not being politically correct.

  23. Jamie Bowden

    Holy shit, you turned on comments. That’s awesome ma’am. Thanks for your wonderful rants.

  24. Tim F.

    Woah. How long have we been able to leave comments?

  25. Heaven's Thunder Hammer

    Well this sounds like the V I have come to enjoy so much. At the same time, it’s hard to be credible on the internet. For instance, if this were a youtube video blog, no one could credibly claim that the last few posts were done by an impostor.

    However, the point she made “You see, the main requirement for the sale of the website is that I stay here and post for you fucking ingrates.” Was not lost on me.

    V I’m sorry if I came across as an ingrate.

    Any how, I think you post great stuff over all and look forward to more.

  26. George

    Glad to see that you’re still going to be writing. I’ve loved reading this site since I first found it. I was hoping that your lack of free time was because you were running for president, but hey maybe next term.

  27. Goldie

    Selling the website with the intent to continue writing sounds like a good idea for the first five minutes. Then you realize that the new owner is going to be able to dictate V what to write, what not to write, which posts to pull. And quite understandably so. You see, now, if a post of V’s offends someone to the point where they sue (as has I believe happened in the past), it’s the new owner’s ass on the line now. He may or may not be willing to take that risk.
    What I’m saying here that selling the site it doesn’t sound like such a terrific idea to me if you seriously plan on staying and writing. But it’s not my site, and not my call. One way or the other, I’m looking forward to the entertainment.

  28. AM

    @Dingo: I thought V told you to quit commenting–you’re giving her headaches.

    @Goldie: I’m sure V is smart enough to avoid that kind of contract requirement.

  29. Michelle

    Dude, we can post comments?!? I’m clearly more simple than I thought I was, I’ve never seen a comment link before. Cool.

    I don’t give a flying fuck who owns the blog, I’ma keep reading it. And I don’t care who the “Real V” is or whether it’s the same person posting every time. It’s entertaining (and sometimes educational) either way. Why people care so much I’ll never understand.

  30. Mike James

    I haven’t been reading you that long but I would love it if you fucking stayed. There aren’t enough chicks out there with a sense of humor!

  31. radiovoice

    I have been reading this website for at least a year…. pretty much everyday. And i don’t care what everyone says, this sounds nothing like her, the writing isn’t as witty and/or funny. She hasn’t been writing for the last 2 or 3 months barely and now all of a sudden she is writing everyday and has comments? Nope its bullshit.

  32. Jules

    I wish you’d pay someone to moderate the comments. I know I could just NOT read them, but am drawn to them uncontrollably. I agree with Michelle above. Why do people care so much about this “real V” (non)issue? With that said, I adore you.

  33. Jules

    Oh, I forgot to tell you I’d love it if you’d post about how it’s been going with the girl you were fostering. I was hoping all was well.

  34. JeffInDenver

    Really, I doubt V would put herself in a position to be censored. So, site ownership really means nothing to me. I come here for the content. As someone posted earlier, “The day she stops writing will be the day I quit reading.”

    And, to those who believes V owes you something, find a high-rese & defenestrate yourselves.

  35. JeffInDenver

    D’oh!! High RISE – not rese…… My extra chromosome & exceptionally large forehead are affecting my typing….

  36. Fabian

    V, you can’t say that last post was you. You had to have been drunk.

    To the doppelganger:

  37. Daniel Chapman

    Wow. You can leave comments now? ( I look at the other comments and see other people similarly surprised.)

    It doesn’t matter to me who writes the posts, who runs the website, or any of those details. The story has been interesting, no matter who the anonymous author may be, or even if it’s not always the same one.

    Thanks for it all.

  38. Sarah

    I, for one, welcome our new robot overlords.

    Looking forward to more writing, V.

  39. Lucington

    Fuck everyone else, V. You’re my wicked, evil hero and I love you.

    Thanks for allowing comments so I can blubber like an idiot.

  40. Mike

    I don’t care who it actually is. The only thing I really know about V is that she is a woman in her early 30’s with sand in her vagina.

    Which actually describes most women in their early 30’s.

    And I still enjoyed that story of slashing your own tire.

    As long as there’s posting here I’ll continue to enjoy it.

    Thanks for violent acres, to some woman with an itchy cunt.

  41. Samantha

    @Serafina, who wrote “I really don’t give a crap if V sells her site or not, as long as she keeps writing. The day she stops writing will be the day I quit reading.”

    Wow, Serefina. Are you really going to stop reading the day V stops writing?
    There will be so much TO read after she STOPS WRITING.
    You are so going to miss out.


  42. Yerba

    I couldn’t give a fuck if you sold the website to Bin Laden so long as you keep writing.

  43. Marcia

    Comments open? How inspiring.

  44. Scott J.

    I really have no idea why I didn’t know I could comment. Huh.

    Anyways, if nothing else, the level of vulgarity in THIS post proves that V’s still here. 😉

    Fuck ’em, V. If they have so much time that they can fucking bitch about a lack of updates, or compare and contrast writing quality to discover if you did or did not write some posts, then they can fucking go start their own blog.

    No? They ain’t gonna?

    What a God Damn surprise.

    Just write when you can, V. I’ll still read, and enjoy them all.

    Ok, maybe not ENJOY them, but I’ll read them all the same. 😉

  45. Sasha

    Man… I’ve been reading updates via the subscription email for long enough that I didn’t even know comments were enabled till now.

    The updates all sound like V, apart from the ones that are obviously noted as guest writers. I find it sad yet amusing that some people are coming up with conspiracies the moment she starts writing more frequently again. What would you have rathered? Nothing? Idiots.

  46. Les

    ahhh….where is that bus when you need it

  47. ash

    aaah I can comment. but now that i can, i can’t.

  48. CDN FAN

    I’m so glad I stumbled upon one of your articles V. I’ve been a faithful reader ever since. Your no-holds barred attitude and anecdotal descriptions of your thinking person experiences living amongst the Sheeple are refreshing. If selling the site means more posts from you I saw GOOD MOVE! Keep it coming V.

    An admirer from Canada.

  49. SgtPsycho

    Wait, wha… we can comment now? /me runs to the site

    So Sweet! …and I’ve just been reading V’s emails all this time. 🙂

  50. Andrew

    I’m suprised we can comment now lol.
    Anyway, Been a fan of the website since you started, and I must say that it is some Better writing i’ve found in a long time. Content wise you have something thats growing more rare these days, and thats common sense. So keep up the good work, and thats all i have to say.

  51. BlueLikeTheSky

    I say good for you.

    More acres, ever more violent, to look forward to…what’s not to like?

    And commenting? Even better.

  52. Sandra Kidd

    Hi V, I love your site. I don’t give a crap about what your name is. What’s in a name anyway? What difference would it be to me if your name is Dora Dunn or Sammy Sparrow or V. Your posts always amuse me. I think you are a fabulous, ‘shitty’ writer. Kisses from Sandra in Sydney.

  53. RockHell

    God, people, just shut up!

    V, your site rocks, I’ve been reading for ages. Fabulous, or, as the kids say these days (or people my age would say, I’m told, I wouldn’t know as I have too much to do to be 20) cha, homey, rock on with your bad self

    or something to that affect.

  54. Martta

    I echo what the others say. Don’t ever change. I love you just the way you are.

  55. Shaun Taylor

    My god…allowing comments? This site just got fantastically more entertaining. If you didn’t keep insisting on how terrible a person you were, I might feel bad about the absolute fucking headache comments are on a site…it’ll just give you more material.

    Keep up the good work.

  56. say what?

    We can leave comments? When did that open up?

    I’ve been reading since at least “Drastic Measures to Reduce Debt” and decided that “no comments” + “full text rss feed” = “never have to go to the site itself”. Plus, you had/have ads (I have adblock plus, so I’m not sure.)

    I like what you’ve done with the place.

  57. Trocveth

    Samantha on September 10th, 2008 at 4:36 pm

    @Serafina, who wrote “I really don’t give a crap if V sells her site or not, as long as she keeps writing. The day she stops writing will be the day I quit reading.”

    Wow, Serefina. Are you really going to stop reading the day V stops writing?
    There will be so much TO read after she STOPS WRITING.
    You are so going to miss out.


    Glad someone else thought Serefina was a moron.

  58. lynn

    The fuck ever. Nothing happens for a month at a time for several months, then comments get turned on, a shitty guest writer makes a post to remind us how V made fun of retarded children whose retarded mommies posted pictures of them on the internet and wasn’t that an awesome ZING! remember? Remember this is why you read this site? (Actually, it’s not)…and then we get two V posts back to back, the second one of which suddenly uses people’s names and is so obviously hastily written that it’s absolute shit?

    I don’t care if it’s V or not, this isn’t what I come here for.

    And I had hoped that if comments were enabled, they’d be more about the post and less about bitching about unrelated shit and calling people stupid.

    I’m still here, for now anyway, but fuck the comments. V, go back to entertaining me, dammit.

  59. not a girl_a dog

    I think it was dog she was fostering or caring for and not a human girl.

  60. Fredric

    …Other than times when you’ve posted other author’s stories because they entertained you there’s never been any difference in your writing style.
    Considering you do this for the purpose of being a dance monkey. It doesn’t matter so long as your point gets across.
    In other words DANCE MONKEY DANCE 😀 *throws peanuts*

    I just love the reading material and hearing your point of view.
    …even if you offend me and my hippie socks.

  61. Laurie

    I absolutely love V’s writing, its far more interesting than some of the drivel posted on the web. I don’t care whether its V or not (and of course it is you dumb asses) I like reading her posts and I’ll continue reading her posts until I get bored and wander away to another site, get over yourselves.

  62. Hazel

    I adore this blog. You can be so nasty, yet so hysterically funny. Plus, you sometimes have really good ideas on things that had never occured to me before. I’ve spent a long time reading old entries.

    People should just quit fucking whinging. Watching V the monkey dance is hugely entertaining. Not to mention educational, and sometimes pretty emotional, as in your tales of childhood.

  63. Frank

    I for one hope that V’s output blossoms with the removal of the nightmare that is maintaining a website. Lately her output of vitriol and raw energy has been discouragingly low- and I was concerned that it might be building up inside her like a boiler without a relief valve. I was even more concerned for her husband and any neighbors. Then I thought- nahhh that is where the stories come from.

    As the proud live-in human of four cats I say carry on V! Though I too sometimes wish our 16 year old beast Teufel would finally kick the bucket and stop horking up stomach acid all over the place. Then he purrs on my lap and all is well with the universe again. These momentary feelings of ill will don’t make be totally evil do they? Please advise.

    Oh and could you do a piece on Sarah Palin? Please, please, PLEASE! I just know there must be something you want to say.

  64. Vonnie

    Was there really any question that it was and has always been your writing??? Fuck em all my friend and do what you do…give me something interesting to look at while I work.
    Youd be happy to know I forwarded your last post to EVERYONE I know. Hypocritical bastards, but thanks for your thoughts. They tend to mimic mine quite often. Keep it up and thanks for the comment boxes!!

  65. R

    ZOMG V, I will KILL myself if you stop blogging cause you give my miserable little life such meaning and purpose… please!!! Don’t make me kill myself!

    /me cuts wrist with plastic knife

    You are making me do this, V. It’s all your fault. Don’t cry for me… Argentina… /me has died.

    Battle… rez… arghhh…

  66. JeffInDenver

    “Samantha on September 10th, 2008 at 4:36 pm
    @Serafina, who wrote “I really don’t give a crap if V sells her site or not, as long as she keeps writing. The day she stops writing will be the day I quit reading.”

    Wow, Serefina. Are you really going to stop reading the day V stops writing?
    There will be so much TO read after she STOPS WRITING.
    You are so going to miss out.


    Really, Samantha? And Trocveth? You geniuses didn’t find the obvious
    joke in there? Really? I mean, it’s right there. Really?

  67. Lisahhh36

    Wow, V! I now offically have a girlcrush on you! This post was beyond awesome. Way to go! Congrats too; you deserve success!

  68. C

    Good Christ.

    What V should really do to raise money is start a betting pool on how long it takes the site’s hypothetical new owner to disable comments.

  69. work it

    “Why would someone want to *buy* someone elses blog?

    I mean I get the idea behind sponsorship, but buying the blog? What does that get you?”

    well if you’d actually read a bit more of the article you would of realized that it just makes Vs life easier because she doesnt have to moderate the comments etc. whats the point of asking questions if yo dont even read the article properly?

    I really like your website by the way, it is very very interesting to read especially all the stories.

  70. Fox

    Wow – I feel a bit more foolish than I normally do, as I only just realized that comments are available now. Bit of a shocker, that. Now I just need V to write something I disagree with, so I have a reason to comment…

    In all seriousness, I think selling sounds like an okay deal – somebody paying you for the opportunity to do a share of the work for you? Nice. Especially if they’re not going to trying to curb your style. Keep up the “shitty” writing, V – as long as you are able to make your point in a fashion I can understand, I don’t care how you do it.

  71. Fiar

    What the Fuck? Since when are there comments allowed? Anyway, I welcome the change.

  72. Elizabeth Miller

    You are a kind of a crybaby, Nonny. V seems like she’s damned if she does, damned if she doesn’t with you. I don’t know about anyone else, but I’m hoping when you fuck off this time, it’s permanently.

  73. Kelley

    Well fuck me dead, comments are allowed!

    Thank Christ for that cause the only place I could say ‘fuck me dead’ was on my own blog, and seeing you told me to fuck off in the same way I tell my readers to, I know you won’t mind.

  74. Dexter

    Who the hell is forcing any of you to read this blog? Everyone’s personal opinion and take on life is their own, get the fuck over yourselves already. V -if your head doesnt explode from all the above posts where people actually think you care what they say when all they have to say is bs!= don’t let morons get to you, you are hillarious and have the guts to do shit i’ve only ever dreamed of doing. BTW fostering kicks ass, hope she’s ok.

  75. Jay

    The “if you don’t like it, don’t read it” argument is one of the most retarded responses to criticism there is. V herself doesn’t follow that, have you read ANYTHING she’s ever written? I like V and I’m glad she’s updating again, but she doesn’t belong on some fucking pedestal. This sycophantic shit is why blog comments are stupid.

  76. arlynnia

    Hey VA,

    It’s about fucking time you said something. I don’t mean that in a bad way. Just in the way of damn, people, don’t you realize that there is a life out there worth living and why would I just want to hang around and write stories for you?

    I noticed that lately for the first time you have had comments on. I never have commented on you except for in my own blogs. you will find it on the website I gave you. I am not kissing ass. I just like the way you tell it like it is. I think that one of my favorite posts is one you wrote recently about the douche that wanted to put her 12 yr old cat(s?) down. What the holy hell? You were absolutely right in pointing out she was a shithead for just not *wanting* to own cats now.

    Don’t want your kids? Sure, bring ’em in. I’ll take care of it for you. Make it look, you know, innocent.

    Geez. People, and thier fucking entitlement.

    Sell the website. If it brings about the realization of a goal, do it.

    Kudos to you sister. Keep on keeping on, and know you have a reader out there who knows what the shit is like. I wish you well.

  77. Christina

    V – Good to hear you’ll have more free time to post for us monkeys, gotta get our VA fix! I only recently found this site and I love it! While being candid on the internet isn’t exactly a new idea, you’ve found a way to make it funny, informative and seemingly genuine. My husband and my new goal is to save money, invest wisely and retire early to do what *we* want, an idea pushed to the forefront by you!

    Thankfully we’re 23 and 24 respectively so we have the time to make the right choices now!

    As to the possibility of whoever she sells this to censoring her, I agree with whoever said it, V is way too smart to let herself get into a contract that would bind her in that manner! Did you guys JUST start reading and not get to most of her older posts yet?

  78. DJ

    You may not read this but who gives a fuck right? You talked about writing a book a while back and said you wouldnt want to sell that garbage to people. What if you wrote a book and sold it to people and donated the profits to the charity? Or pull a J K Rowling and write a few books by hand and auction them off on Ebay.

  79. Sassy Old Bitch

    Old V, New V, who the fuck cares. I’m new and I like what I read. Get a life people and be greatful this person even allows you to comment.

  80. Aza

    Some of your readers really are absolute idiots…

    Guest blogger: “zomg V sold the site!!!”

    Really guys? Some people suck at the internet.

    Good luck when it comes to selling the site. I have had to run a website before and you hit the nail on the head, it is a pain in the ass to simply maintain everything.

  81. Christina

    Uh, wow.

    The comments need to be turned off again.

  82. wallis

    Stop wasting your time debating over who is writing this blog. Participate in debates that actual;ly get you places in the fucking real world -= On the internet, you get nothing for being right and lose nothing for being wrong.

  83. Alyci

    I have sooooooo thoroughly enjoyed the writings on your site…i was going to be horrified if you stopped writing…it’s so hard to find a good shittalker who also makes the most goddamned sense and puts the morons of the world on a giant spear! please! please! please! do not stop writing and to all those haters leaving comments you are merely proving her points…pick one she has many!

  84. wolfboy69

    Riiiiiight……V, we know you don’t give a flying fuck what we think. That’s what makes you blog so great.

    Honestly, I have enjoyed your site immensely. Your screw you attitude is a great inspiration to a lot of us (Is that sick or what?). When you sell, may you be rewarded with great riches, and may we always have a place to go to know we aren’t the only fucked up people in the world.

    Best Regards

  85. Honestly

    Yeah… anyway I am soooo ready to kill all humans… you know that is what we want… we all want to die ASAP! So as soon as I have the capability… consider it done.
    ~Jesus Christ~ aka ~Satan~ aka ~the Destroyer~

  86. Dexter

    I don’t give a damn if people criticize V. It’s the idiots and morons -like you- who piss me off. Who the hell are you to say if she belongs on a pedestal? If in your life and in your opinion she doesn’t, that’s your opinion. Who R u to decide who I idolize and who I don’t? Fuck you. She is funny and her stories whether they are true or not (like it matters) are amusing and are a breath of fresh air. There are tons of writers I like, that’s all she is. I’m not kissing ass, but unlike half of the people here if I don’t like what I’m reading, I’ll just STOP FUCKING READING IT! I read her blog because I like it. Why is that so difficult to understand?

  87. Jay

    You clearly do care if people criticize V, since you imply that if people don’t like her, they shouldn’t leave comments and should go read something else. Fuck you – criticism is good. NO ONE belongs on a pedestal, and idolization is a childish and unhealthy behavior. And it absolutely does matter if V’s stories are true or not – she herself has criticized other bloggers (Tucker Max) for being liars. Why the fuck wouldn’t you hold her to her own standard? Her stories about her mother wouldn’t be nearly as powerful if they weren’t true. It’s why people got in such an uproar over James Frey when his book was exposed as fiction.

    Your comment was a lump of poorly-worded, poorly thought-out bullshit. Come back when you can think and write in a reasonable manner.

  88. Esther

    Wow, it’s amazing how many people can be butthurt over something so absolutely ridiculous.

    It’s V. Even if it wasn’t, as long as the stories provide lulz and make me question the world around me and (most importantly) make me value myself and what I have by my own standards instead of the retard-ridden world standards, who the fuck cares who it is? It’s the message that’s important, not the speaker.

    Y’all are silly, and this freshman in college is lol’ing at your antics.

  89. JST

    I just come for the curse words. They make me laugh. So I guess I don’t care who it is. V, you can relax now and just be your creative self. Thanks for the laughs.

  90. Molly

    I’ve wanted to comment on a few of your posts. Mostly on stuff I don’t agree with, but possibly some stuff I do agree with. (I only say possibly because you already have so many people who take everything you say as gospel that I just don’t see the point in adding my “Good job!” to the pile. Although, now that I’ve said that, I suppose I should be as willing to praise as to criticize, regardless of others… ok, this has gotten too long.)

    Anyway! I can’t do that, because the comments aren’t retro-active. I don’t have anything to say about the tire-slashing story or this little controversy over whether you’re really you anymore. For what it’s worth, you’re as real to me now as you ever were.

  91. Dexter

    You crack me up. I love how worked up people get on blogs.

    Umm… Huge difference between NEGATIVE and POSITIVE criticism. If you are criticizing someone’s writing simply because you don’t like the writer or because you think they are full of it then why keep reading their material just to keep bashing on them?!?!

    And again, don’t presume to tell me who I can look up to or not. Some of V’s stories have helped me and that makes me feel like she belongs on a pedestal IN MY MIND. Why is that so wrong? Don’t you have people/writers you look up to and are grateful to who have helped you or made u see things differently? People who have improved your life?

    You are definitely right about whether the stories are true or not though, (otherwise the above wouldn’t -like you said- have such a great impact) I agree with you, not sure why I wrote that part now that I look back and read it.. I think I had just read other comments that were going off on her stories not being true..

    Reasonable enough for you?

  92. Jay

    I’m not actually worked up, I just sound like it. And yes – I absolutely do have writers I respect, but looking up to someone and idolizing them are different things. Idolization is hero worship, and pretty dangerous territory.

    As to why people keep reading V’s site even when they hate it – well, because it’s fun. Reading and criticizing things you hate is fun. I don’t think most of the people here hate V, though. They just don’t like the turn she’s taken recently (after she hired her ghost writer or whatever the fuck she’s supposed to have done. I have no opinion on this).

    And yeah, that was a much more reasonable comment.

  93. Dexter

    😀 English is my second language (in case u hadn’t figured that out). I wasn’t taking the term idolizing literally to mean hero worship, I meant it as just looking up to someone. But once again you are right, and how the hell is anyone supposed to know how I translate terms in my head unless I explain it in writing, right? It’s not like i go around my everyday life thinking What Would V Do?

    So, you think there is a difference between hating someone’s writing and hating the person themselves? “If” her stories are true, wouldn’t that mean that hating what she’s writing is hating who she is, since she herself stated that a person is whatever their actions dictate and not who they merely say they are? I have no idea what she’s supposed to have done either but I did read her last blog (above) and that’s what I was basing my information off of.

    (Is it an accomplishment or not that we were able to go these last couple of comments without cursing each other out? What Would V Think? hahahaha)

  94. Goldie

    Oh please. Nobody’s butthurt. A lot of people however are wondering what’s going on with the site.
    I found VA this spring, my teenage son gave the the link. (I’m proud to say he hasn’t left any comments. I raised him right. heh heh) I read the archives and most of the posts were awesome, even the ones I disagreed with. Awesome. These past few, on the other hand, make me scratch my head. The one about cats? I commented on it. Either Marie is certifiably crazy or (more likely) the post is missing an important piece of information. No sane person has two cats for twelve years and then wakes up one morning determined to kill them both. There is also, of course, the possibility that neither Marie nor her cats ever existed. This would explain why the post does not add up.
    The tire-slashing one. Now that one is just weird. The lengthy explanation about multiple bank accounts and maintaining them via nightly ATM deposits sounds like a desperate attempt to sound like V’s earlier posts on finance. Except it’s not working. Having multiple bank accounts is not necessarily financial wisdom. Maintaining them via ATM rather than online seems weird for someone who is already online half the time. Nightly cash deposits leave me wondering what the author really does for a living, and whether I can score some pot from him or her. I will not even go into the tire-slashing episode itself, it’s just weird and again a feeble attempt to sound like V in her tailgaters post.
    Bottom line, the last few posts are not the V I know. Which I wouldn’t mind if the posts were good, but they happen to suck major ass. Too bad; I was looking forward to reading this site. It used to have thought-provoking material. I got ideas for a few of my own posts off this site and was hoping for more. So far no luck.
    I would have been more understanding if there was an explanation. Case in point, Waiter Rant. His posts have been scarce lately, because hey, teh guy’s book just came out and he’s doing TV shows and interviews and he’s hardly ever home for crying out loud. He explained it in this many words, so I totally understand. Here, it’s a mystery. You have these awesome posts coming up every week or so, then they mysteriously disappear, then they begin to mysteriously blow. Which of course is none of our business and V is not obligated to give us an explanation; but we, likewise, are not obligated to keep reading her site and generating that revenue she likes to speak of.
    In closing, 90% of the comments are depressing as hell and make me lose faith in the next generation. There, I think I’ve got it all covered.

  95. B

    Still not V. V is feisty no doubt, but I don’t believe she would display this kind of rage towards her readers. So fuck YOU “Not V”.

  96. Rory

    Wow, people who’ve never even MET V think they know enough about her to determine if she’s writing her blog herself or not?

    At any rate, V, I’m glad you’re posting again, however frequent or intermittant it may be. I’ve always enjoyed reading what you write (even if it’s little more than polished turd), from way back at your other website you chose to abandon. Even when I think you’re full of it (and sometimes that thought enters my mind), I enjoy your writing. It’s raw, honest, and refreshing in a world full of P.C. bullshit.

  97. Sarah

    I love this blog, glad you’re not going to quit writing.

  98. Casman

    V, Why oh why did you email me to call me an “ass”? Did I anger you, or did you just need some attention? 😛

    P.S. Comments are teh gay (in the bad way). I realize it gets people to re-load the page and all, but it’s still teh gay.

  99. PufferMedia

    Throw yourself under a bus? This stuff is irony gold, V. Earnest young literary grads dream of fucking with narrative expectations this well. And comments? Brave woman.

  100. Cathy


    are you so damn bored that you have to go crazy over V’s MAINTENANCE ISSUES?!!?! shut the fuck up! you are the reason V disabled comments in the first place! can we use comments to write about her actual blog, and not about stupid shit that shouldn’t even concern us anyway PLEASE?

  101. Aya

    I can’t believe people are begrudging you your life and demanding that you post on the internet. What a bunch of tools.

  102. Philip

    I don’t care who’s writing this blog anymore: all the recent posts have sucked ass.

    The only reason that comments have been turned in a desperate attempt to keep readership. FAIL.

  103. Rooker

    I’m a little late to the party here (this post and the whole site itself). I found this site day before yesterday, got hooked and have spent the last two days reading every post right from the beginning (check your logs, that’s me causing all those 404s as I tried to find the beginning of your archives).

    The experience has been a little spooky. I’m checking now to see if I have any strange scars I’ve never noticed, since clearly you are my freakin siamese twin that nobody’s bothered to tell me about.

    Anyway, here’s one more opinion about the site, from somebody with a bit of experience in this sort of thing.

    By all means, sell the site as long as the writing is still your’s. The minutia of running a busy web site will drive anybody bonkers, so letting somebody else worry about it is a good idea.

    On the other hand, I’d go back to leaving comments turned off. They eventually will drive you completely, batshit insane. It will do this even if you genuinely don’t give a damn about what the internet people think. I’m speaking from actual, unfortunate experience on this one. That’s reason one.

    Reason Two: The distance between you, the author and us, the readers is part of the appeal of this site. While reading the older articles, I could just imagine what people must have made of them and, frankly, it was more entertaining imagining it than it would have been to actually see it.

    Reason Three: You may unconciously begin “playing to the audience” by trying to write things in a way that brings in more positive than negative comments. Not on purpose mind you, but it would be an invisible pressure in the back of your mind and it would turn this into just another blog if you were to succumb to it.

    Yeah, it would suck for people that identify with a story and then have no way to express that, but oh well. God knows I wanted to comment on several older articles. The yelling match over a parking spot for instance. Yeah, been there, dumb as it was.

    If you do leave them turned on, at least make one rule for youself about them – At all costs, resist the temptation to post a comment yourself. Seriously.

    Maybe this is just my own special opinion that’s shared by nobody else but, when I see the author of some article/blog post participating in the flame war that has erupted in the comments section, it cheapens the author in my eyes. You wrote and published it and either it sucked or it rocked. Arguing about it (especially with us crazy internet people) right in the comments section is a bit pointless.

    I’ll shut up now. Sorry for the wall of text.

    The freakin siamese twin that nobody’s ever bothered to tell you about.

  104. thewineshrine

    Time to turn off comments.

    “There’s a fine line between being a skeptic and being a dumbass.”

  105. crowgirl

    Hey, I tried to write a private email, but apparently that’s not allowed in Violent Acres… I just wanted to say that I appreciate your stories about your life and your mother… I have 2 kids living with me who come from a similar household… I don’t have the kids that were treated the worst, but maybe I will when all the legal crap is over. Maybe when they’re older I’ll be able to point them to your site and tell them they’re not the only ones.

  106. mainframeguy

    well – this will probably lose me the “audition” but you are meant to be told that “WordPress 2.6.3 is available!”.

    Seriously though – I have blogged about how to deal with comment spam and there are some new things out there like stupid filter that may be of use. Also defensio is meant to be pretty good. But either way for x comments you should not require x clicks to delete the spam for sure!

    Kinda like to hear your thoughts on stupidfilter…

    I would have prettily linked it in, but suspect my ref= would get stripped – the blog post is below:-


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