The Gods of Funny have once again smiled on me.
Does anyone remember Ryan Holiday? He was that whining, crying, puling puddle of loser I made fun of last year? Tucker Max’s ‘personal assistant?’ I know, I know, I almost forgot all about him myself. However, a clever reader of mine periodically keeps tabs on the whole Rudius crew and thank goodness for that because without him, I would have missed out on some big time funny shit.
Apparently, Ryan Holiday got busted on Wikipedia for inventing a bunch of fake screen names in order to frantically edit Tucker Max’s wiki page, presumably in order to keep people from finding out that Mr. Max is a blatant fucking liar. Rumor has it that he’s been doing this for years. Since Ryan Holiday works for Tucker Max, this behavior obviously presents a bit of a conflict of interest on wikipedia (who tries its best to remain impartial), so it is against the Wiki terms of service. Another wiki editor type dude is demanding Ryan Holiday’s dishonest and (let’s be honest here) utterly ridiculous wiki antics be investigated. Once found out, Ryan ‘crybaby’ Holiday lives up to my insults by claiming that the entire investigation makes him feel ‘uncomfortable’ and begs that all references to the scandal be deleted. Read the about the entire saga yourself here and here.
There are a lot of funny things happening here, so I apologize if my discussion is kind of all over the place. I’m like a fat kid in a candy store right now.
First of all, SERIOUSLY? Mr. Tucker Max, so-called serious business owner, thinks paying a full time employee to edit his wiki page is a good investment of company resources? (I mean, you almost have to assume that Tucker put Ryan up to it. In what realm of loserdom does one have to belong to in order to spend their off time doing stupid shit like editing the boss’s wiki page? ) No wonder Tucker Max can’t afford to pay his writers!
Speaking of editing the boss’s wiki as a profession, I’m just curious…was that a promotion for Ryan Holiday? Or did he have to start out at the bottom and work his way up to to this oh so prestigious position? Also, how did Tucker initially word the job description? “Wanted: Someone to lie for me. I can’t be the only one making up bullshit here. Competitive pay. Uh, scratch that. Average pay. Er…Scratch that too. Other things; just not pay. Sucker.”
Oh God. Hilarity ensues indeed! But seriously, ignore all that for a minute. I want to draw your attention to a little quote that I found particularly amusing from our dear Ryan Holiday:
Regardless, I’d like to stress again that comments like this one that Theserialcomma left on my talk page make me very uncomfortable….It also really sucks to see an abusive editor and generally destructive person post my personal details and estalk me because he so hates someone I had some affiliation with…The whole thing makes me really queasy and uncomfortable so I will step away….If I could, this page violates WP:OUTING and WP:HUSH and it would be very much appreciated if it could be taken down or archived or something.
I know, I know. When I first read that tripe, I laughed too. After all, what kind of moron thinks that researching someone’s wiki editing history counts as e-stalking them and posting their ‘personal details?’ Ryan ‘superior human being’ Holiday, that’s who!
Then I thought to myself: awwww poor Ryan Holiday! Why is everyone always picking on him? Perhaps I should send him a fruit basket or something to help him get over the pain of having his ‘personal details’ posted on wiki.
Then I thought: WAIT JUST A GODDAMN MINUTE! Is this the SAME Ryan Holiday who, after being called out by me for being a self obsessed sissy boy, decided to retaliate by working with all 7 of his readers to recklessly post the real name, address, and motherfucking driving record of someone he doesn’t even know on his website? Because that couldn’t be considered e-stalking, could it? Could this be the same Ryan Holiday who suddenly feels ‘queasy’ when his own ‘personal details’ were shared online…even if those details aren’t 1/5th as ‘personal’ as the details he was more than comfortable posting about someone else?
(Post from Boo Hoo Holiday hysterically insisting that I only wrote this to drive 27 new hits to my site in 5…4….3….)
EDIT: To the people who have been trying to post Ryan Holiday’s contact information in the comments, stop. Stop now. I won’t allow it and the only thing you’re doing is making a case for me to close comments again which I’m fucking ITCHING to do anyway. Stop acting like fucking animals, por favor.
- Ryan Holiday is Definitely Not Mediocre. He’s Worse.
- Grow The Fuck Up, Ryan Holiday
- Dance, Monkey, Dance
- December Catchphrase and a Word About Editing
- Hi Tucker Fans!