There are a lot of things I could be writing about around now.
For example, the crushing failure I experienced after going up against the zoning board makes for a good story and I’m sure quite a few of my detractors would be giddy at the thought of me publicly eating a piece of humble pie. Oh, but I’m not in the mood for that. Yet.
I could write a nice critique of the ‘Twilight’ series. But explaining to you, over and over again, the insidious urge I had to pluck my own eyeballs out and put them in a blender every time I turned the page would probably become redundant. With that said, I fully understand the appeal they hold to mommybloggers. However, I am even more disappointed in teenage girls than usual. I thought they at least had some standards.
I could do the typical ‘Who I’m voting for and why’ piece (Hint: NOT Obama and NOT McCain), but, like, everyone’s doing it and it’s getting old.
So, I’m just going to tell you all what’s going on with this site and leave it at that.
As of tomorrow, I will no longer be in technical control of the site. Which is a very good thing considering that I woke up today, logged on, and found 166 comments waiting for moderation…most of which were spam. I simply no longer have the stamina to click ‘delete’ 166 times a day. God bless those that do.
The layout of the site is changing. I saw a rough draft of it a couple of weeks ago. It was purple and, according to my husband, made me look like a serial killer. I’m a poor judge of layouts (Case in point: my current one), but I’m guessing some of you will like it, some of you will hate it, and nearly all of you will take the damn thing way too seriously. It’s a fucking layout, people. Get over it in advance, please.
The dude who is taking over this mess finally saw the light about allowing comments here. Most of you made fucking asses of yourselves. However, he doesn’t want to punish the 5 or 6 of you who had something worthwhile to say, so he thought of a way to keep comments, but weed out the morons. Basically, your first comment will be an ‘audition’ of sorts. If you write something funny, interesting, and/or contribute to the discussion in some way, you will be allowed to comment again. If you sputter and spit like a monkey with a mouthful of shit, you will lose the privilege. Keep in mind that you will be auditioning for him and not me. I will have absolutely no say in who ultimately gets to comment here and who doesn’t. With that said, the guy who will be moderating stuff doesn’t know me from Adam, so I highly doubt if he’d take offense if you insulted me or disagreed with me…as long as you managed to do so with an ounce of wit and verve.
Also, I have tried in the past to feature new writers here with little success. New writers here have a hard time working up the nerve for a second post after experiencing the barrage of negative comments from you ingrates. Either that or I honestly do have bad taste. To fully figure this phenomenon out, this site will still periodically feature new writers…with a catch. After each post, the readers will be allowed to anonymously vote on whether or not they’d like to see more from the writer in the future. This will allow me to determine if the negativity is actually warranted or if this is just a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease.
Anyway, once I’m no longer in charge of shit, my hope is that it will free up enough time for me to sit down and really concentrate on writing instead just jotting some crap down and slapping it up there just for the sake of an update. I have a lot of stuff bouncing around in my head right now, but no time to organize my thoughts. I know there are web writers out there who will zealously claim that, for them, writing is no big deal and they spend 10 seconds, TOPS, on the stuff they add to their blog and aren’t you totally impressed with how clever they can be in such a short amount of time? But folks, that ain’t me. If I spend 10 seconds on something, it reads like I spent 10 seconds on it. Hell, when I spend 3 hours on something, it oftentimes still reads like shit. What can I say? Writing just doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m a hack…a hack who absolutely, positively needs 3 hours if I’m going to write something halfway legible.
If this means a change in layout and the addition of comments and a few other things switched around, so be it. It’s better than force feeding you literary garbage, right?
*EDIT: Still working out the design bugs…It should be fully operational in a little while.
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