October 26th, 2008.

There are a lot of things I could be writing about around now.

For example, the crushing failure I experienced after going up against the zoning board makes for a good story and I’m sure quite a few of my detractors would be giddy at the thought of me publicly eating a piece of humble pie. Oh, but I’m not in the mood for that. Yet.

I could write a nice critique of the ‘Twilight’ series. But explaining to you, over and over again, the insidious urge I had to pluck my own eyeballs out and put them in a blender every time I turned the page would probably become redundant. With that said, I fully understand the appeal they hold to mommybloggers. However, I am even more disappointed in teenage girls than usual. I thought they at least had some standards.

I could do the typical ‘Who I’m voting for and why’ piece (Hint: NOT Obama and NOT McCain), but, like, everyone’s doing it and it’s getting old.

So, I’m just going to tell you all what’s going on with this site and leave it at that.

As of tomorrow, I will no longer be in technical control of the site. Which is a very good thing considering that I woke up today, logged on, and found 166 comments waiting for moderation…most of which were spam. I simply no longer have the stamina to click ‘delete’ 166 times a day. God bless those that do.

The layout of the site is changing. I saw a rough draft of it a couple of weeks ago. It was purple and, according to my husband, made me look like a serial killer. I’m a poor judge of layouts (Case in point: my current one), but I’m guessing some of you will like it, some of you will hate it, and nearly all of you will take the damn thing way too seriously. It’s a fucking layout, people. Get over it in advance, please.

The dude who is taking over this mess finally saw the light about allowing comments here. Most of you made fucking asses of yourselves. However, he doesn’t want to punish the 5 or 6 of you who had something worthwhile to say, so he thought of a way to keep comments, but weed out the morons. Basically, your first comment will be an ‘audition’ of sorts. If you write something funny, interesting, and/or contribute to the discussion in some way, you will be allowed to comment again. If you sputter and spit like a monkey with a mouthful of shit, you will lose the privilege. Keep in mind that you will be auditioning for him and not me. I will have absolutely no say in who ultimately gets to comment here and who doesn’t. With that said, the guy who will be moderating stuff doesn’t know me from Adam, so I highly doubt if he’d take offense if you insulted me or disagreed with me…as long as you managed to do so with an ounce of wit and verve.

Also, I have tried in the past to feature new writers here with little success. New writers here have a hard time working up the nerve for a second post after experiencing the barrage of negative comments from you ingrates. Either that or I honestly do have bad taste. To fully figure this phenomenon out, this site will still periodically feature new writers…with a catch. After each post, the readers will be allowed to anonymously vote on whether or not they’d like to see more from the writer in the future. This will allow me to determine if the negativity is actually warranted or if this is just a case of the squeaky wheel getting the grease.

Anyway, once I’m no longer in charge of shit, my hope is that it will free up enough time for me to sit down and really concentrate on writing instead just jotting some crap down and slapping it up there just for the sake of an update. I have a lot of stuff bouncing around in my head right now, but no time to organize my thoughts. I know there are web writers out there who will zealously claim that, for them, writing is no big deal and they spend 10 seconds, TOPS, on the stuff they add to their blog and aren’t you totally impressed with how clever they can be in such a short amount of time? But folks, that ain’t me. If I spend 10 seconds on something, it reads like I spent 10 seconds on it. Hell, when I spend 3 hours on something, it oftentimes still reads like shit. What can I say? Writing just doesn’t come naturally to me. I’m a hack…a hack who absolutely, positively needs 3 hours if I’m going to write something halfway legible.

If this means a change in layout and the addition of comments and a few other things switched around, so be it. It’s better than force feeding you literary garbage, right?

*EDIT: Still working out the design bugs…It should be fully operational in a little while.

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95 Responses to Changes

  1. Sarah

    I agree on the Twilight critique. Stephanie Meyers does have another book out though, titled “The Host.” I liked it. It’s got kind of an Invasion of the Body Snatchers feel to it, if you like that kind of thing. If not, forget I wrote anything.

    Good luck with the writing!

  2. Sarah


    Stephenie Meyer != Stephanie Meyers.

    I can spell.

  3. Kelly

    Looking forward to the new layout and what you have to say with all the added time on your hands.

  4. Caroline

    I’m looking forward to the featured writers! I found wide lawns from this site, and really love her writing.

  5. Elijah

    Since when did comments get allowed here (I read via RSS 😛 )? I’ve been missing all the fun 🙁

    Now I have to go back and re-read all the amusing posts to see what sorts of dramas are in the comments.

  6. Robin

    Does this mean we will be seeing regular updates now?

  7. John

    You say you don’t have the time on your hands to write, but rather than writing about what’s changing about the site, wouldn’t your time be better utilized by publishing interesting stories?

    Hearing updates is boring. As much as I would like to say otherwise, any story is better than writing a tremendously long article about what’s going to happen to the site.

  8. John

    Since you’re voting for no one…are you suggesting we move to anarchy?

    Obama is the best candidate we’ve had in many years. Don’t vote — and you risk having a Bush-like (McCain) administration. A colossal failure.

    Go Obama ’08! 🙂

  9. Weisser

    Speaking of new writers, I want more BC Woods! The man is a frigging genius.

  10. Les

    I am really looking forward to the featured writers. I found (BC Woods)from your site and I am a regular reader now.

  11. Mike


    You’re too hard on yourself V… but you’re a woman, it’s just part of your genetic make up.

    I’m looking forward to reading your new stuff.

  12. niggard jesus

    Listen white lady when are you gonna show us a picture of you ? I wanna see your saggy breast pretty please. I hope you dont expect me to continue to jerk off only too your writing?

  13. Zachary

    Since when were we allowed to comment? This is nice, I’ve always wanted to comment, didn’t know we could until now…

    Hope to see some really good posts in the future! I bet it’s hard maintaining the site with all of the technical stuff. Good thing you’ve got people workin’ for yeh now.

    Keep writing! Your stuff’s always interesting.

  14. Daniel

    Best of luck with the new setup. I’ve tried running a blog before and it became too much work as well.

  15. Kelley

    I love coming here to all the ‘since when have we been allowed to comment’ comments. *snort*

    I do believe there is one from me somewhere.

    Looking forward to auditioning for the puppet master. Will wear my best tarty heels.

  16. Brad Carter

    There are approximately a billion ways to deal with spam in an automated fashion. Since you’re using WordPress, it would be incredibly simple to set up any of them. There’s no reason for any webmaster, no matter how big or small, to have to delete hundreds of spams per day. Come on, it’s 2008, automate your spam control already.

  17. Frugal

    If V is not going to vote for a main party candidate, I’m guessing she will vote for Bob Barr…just like me!

  18. VA: Changes

    […] Original post: Changes […]

  19. Exnie

    After seeing some comments like this one:

    “Listen white lady when are you gonna show us a picture of you ? I wanna see your saggy breast pretty please. I hope you dont expect me to continue to jerk off only too your writing?”

    I totally agree with the new moderating system. I’m only 14 but come on, lets have a little maturity here. Anonymity doesn’t give you free reign to be an ass hole.

  20. Mathew

    I have to say for the first comments I’ve read on this site (being as how I’ve never bothered to see when comments started) I am sorely dissappointed with only a ‘few’ of the first 18 comments. Namely wonderful people like ‘niggard’ make me dread the day some of these kids grow up and have potential to be a part of society.

    Other than that, V keep up the amazing work I know we all look forward to ‘real’ posts again rather than you stressing out, (then again aren’t you ‘real’ posts mostly you stressing anyway?) at least in a nonstimulating way.

  21. Nyxie

    V actually read Twilight? New-Site-Owner, tell her I said she’s far stronger than I ever could be. I put it down and ran away screaming by the first few pages. And yes, I was so hoping women would have higher standards (it’s not just the teenage girls around here).

    Apparently, they don’t. I am so ashamed at my lack of a Y chromosone. I swear to god that chromosone contains all the sanity in human DNA.

    On the bright side, it means that it’s all they talk about. And seeing as I don’t, it means all those annoying chicks will shut up and leave me alone, now, instead of trying to get me to talk to them.

    Anyway, sorry to hear about the SPAMathon. Well, okay, not really – now that you’re focusing on the writing, we get better reading material.

    As for your vote, I assume that either you’re voting for Ralph Nader/Bob Barr/Charles Baldwin, or you’re not voting. Though, if you’re not telling us, well, I don’t blame you, that much is for sure.

    I wish ye all the best and yonder and…aw, forget it – just write, damnit. I need good reading material in the middle of the day. You save my life, you really do – when I feel the need to drown myself in the sink to escape the stupidity of, well, everyone, I read your stuff and feel that not everything sucks enough to be work dying over.

  22. Viola

    I have to admit, I was a little confused when I heard the site was for sale… but as long as you’re here and you’re writing, I’ll be reading.

    Thanks to the new site owner for taking over the technical stuff. I’d have been pretty upset if you had to shut the site down.

  23. Mercy

    I couldn’t possibly agree more about the Twilight thing. I can’t… I can’t even say anything, because if I start, it’s possible that I may never stop.

    It’s your site… or his, whoever… do what you want. Personally, I just like reading you. You’re funny and kind of mean and really witty, and as long as I get my VA fix occasionally, I’m good. 🙂

  24. Tachs

    I honestly can say I like this layout, just so you know. It’s not busy, and makes for easy reading-It also seems to keep me interested in reading, instead of zoning out of finding other things to do.

    Congratulations on keeping a gnat-brained cyber kid interested.

  25. LikeAWolf

    Um. That niggard jesus guy? For the record, I’d like to kick him in whichever of his heads is a large enough target for my size 5.5 foot, though somehow I doubt either one qualifies.

  26. Victoria

    The serial killer layout will hopefully rule.

  27. Serafina

    Oh thank god! This means Nyxie and me both won’t have to kill ourselves. I need some kind of distraction to get me through a day of tedium.

    Keep writing, for the love of chocolate!


  28. Anders

    If only real life was like this.

    You get one shot to say something meaningful and witty.

    You pass, you get to blab forever.

    You fail, you get shut out.

  29. Chicken Girl

    “I woke up today, logged on, and found 166 comments waiting for moderation…most of which were spam. I simply no longer have the stamina to click ‘delete’ 166 times a day. God bless those that do.”

    Haven’t you ever heard of Akismet?

  30. Carolyn

    I for one would love to read what you have to say about that god-awful Twilight series. I couldn’t even make it through the first book before I had to put it down. It remains the only book I’ve ever read that I would be in favor of burning. I’ve gotten into heated arguments that almost came to blows about what an twit Edward Cullen is. I’ll stop talking about this now, because if I start ranting about what utter shit Twilight is, there’s a good chance I won’t be able to stop.

  31. Myroid

    “I could do the typical ‘Who I’m voting for and why’ piece (Hint: NOT Obama and NOT McCain)”

    Come on conspirists, where are you? We all know V isn’t voting for either because she already voted for Nader by absentee. It’s the only way when you’re fighting transformer zombie ninjas in Sudan as a secret agent. Unfortunately she got captured and her only way out was to sell her blog to the zombie ninjas. The spam is a lie. Good job V, you almost had us fooled.

  32. sinjako

    its sucky that american media has so much power, cuz people like mccain and obama can get so much undeserved attention and so many undeserved votes.

  33. sinjako

    im a failure ><

    i tried to spell perfectly, but didnt notice the ´cuz´

  34. Gamespanker

    I heard about Twilight second hand from my fiance. I’d love to hear your rants on it because most of your rants are immensely humorous regardless of whether or not I agree with your opinion. I’ve always considered “Dusk til Dawn” a good vampire movie, having vampires that sparkle in the sun sounded a little carebear to me.

  35. Goldie


    Actually, real life is exactly like that.

    Aside from that, glad to have V back after all. She sounds like she means business now. A lil confused about the election, though. Maybe V is going to write herself in.

  36. sam

    Comment auditions? Who’s the guy, Nick Denton?

  37. Greg

    I don’t know – I always envisioned V as more of a Libertarian. Bob Barr 08?

    I know I’d rather vote for a candidate who wasn’t relegated to the political obscurity of a sideshow… or at least managed to raise more money than a real sideshow.

  38. OttawaMike

    “If you sputter and spit like a monkey with a mouthful of shit, you will lose the privilege. Keep in mind that you will be auditioning for him and not me. ”

    Perfect, that way some Idiot can’t start ranting off at you about it.
    I can’t wait to start reading what comes from a few good nights of restful sleep….Get out there Dear and enjoy this reprieve !

    All my best.

  39. C

    Any word on whether you’ll get to keep your lovely catchphrases?

  40. Lucington

    Oh, V, please do a review of the twilight series. If you can make it, the 4th book is an entirely new level of “run screaming” that’s almost worth it. I can’t believe I wasted a few weeks of my life to read those books!

    My co-workers are obsessed. There’s these two that bought Twilight-inspired jewelry and argue about who Edward belongs to… it drives me crazy!

    Oh, looking forward to the serial killer layout.

  41. Sarah

    You guys!

    She already wrote her Twilight review!

    “But explaining to you, over and over again, the insidious urge I had to pluck my own eyeballs out and put them in a blender every time I turned the page would probably become redundant.”

    Seriously. That is all you need to know. Expanding on that statement really would just get redundant. There are only so many ways you can say “Because I care about the well-being of humanity in general, I implore you not to read this drivel.”

    I think V expressed this sentiment nicely.

  42. SunSpotBaby

    If you are going to be doing “real” writing, will you let us know if you publish? Please? PRETTY PLEASE?? Like Waiter Rant did – and he sold so many books they now are considering a sitcom based on it. You could get FAMOUS!!! Well, for 15 minutes, maybe…..

  43. Michael

    There’s a layout? Huh, I normally read via the RSS feed or email list. Here’s a couple items to pile onto the new guy. Have a link added to to ‘view comments’ and add the advertisers to both the rss feed and email messages.

  44. Dave

    I have enjoyed your site since I found it some time ago. Your writing is great by me, and I look forward to seeing every new post.
    Thanks for the time and effort.

  45. lol-wat funny pictures

    I don’t understand why you would sell the blog. Also, when are you going to do the competition with the ad revenue as a prize?

  46. HyperJen

    I, for one, cannot wait for the opportunity to V, the new layout, and the moderator’s parents. If I’m really lucky, I’ll find a way to use an LOLcat to accomplish all 3 at once.

    Gods I love the internet!

  47. HyperJen


    I cannot wait for the opportunity to BASH V.

    the internet sucks.

  48. Jess

    I wholeheartedly agree with your opinion of the Twilight series, V. In the beginning I was taken in by the romance and whatnot, totally oblivious to the crappy writing and crappier story. Now I cringe away from anyone who admits they like the books, they must be freaks of nature.

    And that’s all I’m going to say, I too have hours and hours of Twilight rant material, but I don’t want to come off as an obsessed anti-fan (even though I am).

  49. Goldie

    So has the new guy taken over already? I’ve never seen so much spam in the comments (see below post). About 10 new ones today.
    Hey, I’m just a concerned citizen.

  50. Joanna

    I really like the idea of other writers blogging here. Gives us a great opportunity to sample other bloggers work without having to go through the arduous task of bothering to go and look for good writers ourselves. I think it was this site that led me to WideLawns, so cheers in advance!

  51. Hazel Jones


    I’m Hazel Jones and I work in a company interested in blog advertising. I found your blog engaging and I’m contacting you to ask if you are interested in blog post sponsorship.

    If you are interested, kindly mail back at, indicating your blog for reference, and I’ll send you back pricing details, guidelines and processes. Looking forward to doing business with you.


    Hazel Jones

  52. AllanL5

    Oh, “V”, I’ve thought your stuff was wonderful, funny, a little scarry.

    It’s good to have an author so fearless, so outspoken.

    I hope the “new management” frees you to continue your work.

    Good luck.

  53. 13souls

    Audition my ass. I’d rather never comment on here than censor myself to fit someone else’s scruples. But luckily, I never have anything useful to add anyway.

  54. Mike D

    If you’re not going to be writing get BC Woods and the guy who did the Down Syndrome story. Those were simply awesome.

    I’m glad you are going to start moderating comments because most of the people who do comment are absolute idiots. By the way, regarding the spam. Take a look at Askimet.

  55. Jay

    Mike D- I completely disagree that those writers were good. I thought BC Woods and the Freak Safari guy were terrible. I’m kind of boggled that they got any praise at all. Not that I was offended or anything – in fact, it would have been better if I was. They basically only had one joke, and it was how tasteless they were – except that they weren’t. Their stuff came across as something a sheltered high schooler would write – a perfect example of trying too hard.

    The Wide Lawns guy (girl, sorry) was better, but you could tell she was pandering to her audience, and not doing it very well. If she’d written in her natural style, the one she uses on her blog, I would have liked it better. Not everyone can be a V-esque badass, and not everyone should.

    In other news, I like the comment system. I hope my verve measures up.

  56. You Wish

    Great, now we get the treat of watching hordes of approval-seekers fall all over themselves trying to impress you with their ass-kissing and wit so their first post can be deemed somehow worthwhile. Absolutely nauseating.

  57. Theresa

    It’s good to know that you will actually have some time on your hands to write something interesting, I am looking forward to it. The comment moderation ‘technique’ sounds like a good one as well. I also lack the kind of time to write anything decent myself but am not too sure about someone else having complete control over my site. There’s just something repelling about that idea. I just make people wait. I figure if some can get away for months without writing a post or moderating comments then why in the hell can’t I? Good luck on this new thing you’re trying, I really hope it makes you content.

  58. Lori

    I like the layout, its clean and simple. The new guy needs to work on the spam being let in but what ever.
    Looking forward to reading more.

  59. Heaven's Thunder Hammer

    I really like the layout change. I’m hoping this means more frequent posts by V!

  60. OMG-V-ILoveyoumarry me!

    Awwee Vi, your monkey Myspaced your site…

  61. Psychomancer

    At the risk of offending and failing this all important audition… the huge holloween banner at the top of the site is infantile and does conform to the style of this blog.
    If you want to design a new banner to freshen up the site, you should not redesign it the fashion of an anti-social adolescent boy lamely attempting to shock. The use of lavender fails to suggest the femininity of V. The lavender is overwhelmed by the absurd skull cartoon and silly scibble font.
    I liked the incongruity of the lily and script text with the word violent of the old design. A new design needs the lily and subtle suggestion of the violence that lies below. You can keep the cracked glass but it needs to be smaller.

    To Border Seven Studios,
    Design something like you did for Zeny’s Boutique and then add small indications of V’s “edge”. Add subtle indicators of the her psychotic nature. This memorial to Pol Pot and the Kmer Rouge is horrible.

    – From the Ravings of the Psychomancer

  62. Jay The Great

    ME Likes!

    Cool stuff going on in the background. Fits V. Can’t wait to read her next stuff.

  63. Elizabeth Miller

    The font is waaaayyy too small. It hurts my eyes. Long posts are easier to read with a larger font.

  64. Myroid

    Scythes, pitchforks… but no torches? Even with big eyes they probably can’t see that well.

  65. Andy

    Overall I like the design, but the backwards e’s in “Violent Acres” annoy me. The scratchy font is quite enough to reflect V’s unbalanced psychology 🙂 Backwards letters are for kids’ lemonade stands.

  66. OttawaMike

    LOL, I love the bottom banner with the skulls and pitchforks !…
    I guess that’s what gets sent out when the voodoo dolls stop werking huh ?

    Niiice =-)

  67. OMG-V-ILoveyoumarry me!

    @Psychomancer: I <3 U

  68. Neil

    I like the new look – conveys a sort of brooding femininity.

  69. TheStranger

    Layout looks good. Everyone should stop whining about it…people are so resistant to change. Jeez.

  70. Martie

    I think the skulls w/ pitchforks are meant to represent (demonize) all of V’s critics and she’s childishly taunting them by writing on the window (see broken glass). Or maybe I’m reading into it too much.

  71. hidey-ho

    cool. now write something woman!

  72. Medieval1

    That fact that you now have a minion amuses me.

    I do like the new layout and graphics.

  73. Dale

    I like BC Woods and the FS guy whoever he is. He never updates but he’s good to. BC is better because he updates.

  74. Esther

    You know, I go do a school for graphic design, and I was going to use your website for a layout redesign project in my web design class.

    But now I can’t because it’s actually good now. Fooey.

  75. Erika

    I like the new layout, it’s perfect.

  76. Kayla

    I like the new layout, it’s fun.

    As for Twilight… If I hear one more “I’m going to marry a guy just like Edward when I grow up!” I’m going to put a fork in someone’s eye. No, you are not going to be married to a guy like Edward when you grow up. You will either be married to a guy who, like Edward, finds following you like a stalker and watching you sleep amusing, which means you’ll be dead two years into your marriage BECAUSE HOW WILL HE LIVE WHEN YOU GO TO WORK WITHOUT HIM!? or else you will be married to your own insecurities and impossibly high standards, and start creating fantasies in your head where you become married to your therapist and he adopts all of your fifty cats and you live happily ever after.

  77. Lucius

    Thank you, V, for making time to do more writing. I’m always happy to read about your thoughts and exploits, for I appreciate the former and often contemplate doing the latter. I, sadly, have too much impulse control.

    To the gal(s)/guy(s) responsible for the new layout:

    Right. On.

  78. Lucius

    And thank you for putting up an Archive of previous entries! Now I can obsessively go through every little thing that V ever wrote, thereby facilitating my addiction to bitchin’.

    Or something like that.

  79. Steph

    Wow, the new layout looks great!

    Love it.

  80. ginny

    Hmm. Not bad. I like the degenerate feel of the new layout. Nice touch on the pitchforks. I was going to say that the “bubbles” in the header were a sort of odd addition but then… durr. Not bubbles. Creepy, pupil-less mooks. Entirely appropriate.

  81. Scott

    Like the new layout. Looks good!

    Elizabeth Miller > The font is waaaayyy too small.

    You can make it bigger in your browser. Hold the Ctrl button down and roll the little wheel between the buttons on your mouse to adjust font size.

  82. T-Bird

    Re: Lucius

    Totally know what you mean by the addiction. When I first came across V’s site and read one of her “best of” posts I was absolutely hooked. I pretty much didn’t visit any other websites until I had finished reading Every. Single. Post.

    Also V, even though the new layout is kiiiiiind of evocative of a late ’90s Korn album cover, it ain’t bad. I like purple.

  83. Divine Q

    while i, too, think the layout images are appropriate, the purple is too… girly. maybe the red i’m thinking about would just be too over the edge.

    but anyways, what i wanted to say is thank you, for just being another woman out there besides me that thinks so many women are way too attached to their “emotional-ness” and really just need to get a pair

  84. NotoriousBlue

    I really like the new layout. I’m looking forward to future posts!

  85. Skid

    I love the angry mob on the banner. 🙂

  86. AllanL5

    +1 on the idea that the backwards ‘e’s are too much. Psychomancer has it right.

    I mean, a person barely holding it together MIGHT write the scratchy letters, but they’d NOT get the ‘e’s backwards.

  87. dave

    i like it. you win 5 internets for this.

  88. Raggy

    i like the new layout – kinda a johnny the homicidal maniac meets the purple people eater. it works.

  89. Sam

    Hm. The new layout seems..kind of adolescent.

    I think I preferred the plain non-emo looking layout. But whatever, it’s a fucking layout, right?
    /Gets over it

  90. C

    Well, I’m not in the art department, so I don’t have too much to say, though I suppose I agree that it’d look better with the [e]s pointing the right way.
    I just wish that older entries had the “related entries” link on them – was trying to find a specific entry the other day, and with no apparent search function or tags… Obviously just going down the list has related ones, but if I click one of the related stories, *that* does not have a list.


    I’m sure V’s loving all the layout comments on something she doesn’t really have a hand in (to my understanding at least).

  91. Viola

    The banner is fantastic. I could do without the cheesy doodling on the sides, though.

    See? You turn on comments and you get a bunch of whiny douche-bags attacking something that has nothing to do with the writing itself. In my own defense, I had already commented on this post before the layout changed over.

  92. MichelleB

    I love the banner and the overall layout.

    Ever since my boyfriend proposed to me with a gorgeous diamond necklace from I want to start a blog as a bride-to-be and this design is so what it should look like!

  93. mainframeguy

    OMG – MichelleB is blatant spamage – and yet my original comment here never showed! What can it mean? I know a comment went through on another posting, but am deeply suspicious of changes around here and think I may have to drop this from my blogroll – I cannot permit sites with spam comments or a censorial comment policy to stay on my blogroll, the blogosphere needs a little quality control!

  94. Standard Mischief » To anyone who may be tracking my “guilty pleasures” RSS feed…

    […] enjoyed stories like Drastic Measures to Reduce Debt, quality has slipped, and she has admitted to selling out (I hope she got a good price). While it may be true that she’s still writing at least some of […]

  95. renaissance

    keep putting up all the stories and I will be happy

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