Quite a few people have asked me my thoughts on this year’s election and other such nonsense. However, since the election is over and done with, I have very little drive to write a detailed description of all the nuances of my political leanings. Instead, I’ll just quote phrases I uttered to friends and family during the day of the election and trust that you can deduce my feelings from there.
On asking people who they voted for:
So…did you go hippy liberal commie or psychotic fascist nazi?
On how I voted:
First, I asked for a PAPER ballot, NOT electronic. Then, I went over to the special table for PAPER voters and filled in the little circle labeled ‘write in candidate.’ I wrote in Ron Paul for President and Dennis Kucinich for Vice President. I also wrote ‘I’m your biggest fan!’ in the margin, sealed my envelope, and moon walked out of there. Does my dream team have a shot in hell at winning? Of course not. Will I be able to sleep tonight? Absolutely.
On John McCain’s concession speech:
He should just walk up to the podium, scream ‘FUCK PALIN,’ and then drop the mic Chris Rock style and walk away.
On Obama’s acceptance speech:
Wouldn’t it be totally awesome if he came out wearing a sideways ball cap with the song ‘Whoop, there it is!’ playing the background?
On having sex with my husband:
V: I’m so cold. But it’s a good thing you’re like a blanket…with a penis.
V: Hm, I suppose that’s one of the odder things I’ve said during sex. I should put that on my website.
Husband: *still laughing*
V: I’ll add it into my comments about the election. I doubt anyone will notice.
On what will happen to our country now that we’ve elected a new President:
No matter what happens, the next four years are not my fault. Ultimately, that’s all I care about.
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- Ongoing Catchphrase Contest
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