Presidential Election 2008


Quite a few people have asked me my thoughts on this year’s election and other such nonsense. However, since the election is over and done with, I have very little drive to write a detailed description of all the nuances of my political leanings. Instead, I’ll just quote phrases I uttered to friends and family during the day of the election and trust that you can deduce my feelings from there.

On asking people who they voted for:
So…did you go hippy liberal commie or psychotic fascist nazi?

On how I voted:
First, I asked for a PAPER ballot, NOT electronic. Then, I went over to the special table for PAPER voters and filled in the little circle labeled ‘write in candidate.’ I wrote in Ron Paul for President and Dennis Kucinich for Vice President. I also wrote ‘I’m your biggest fan!’ in the margin, sealed my envelope, and moon walked out of there. Does my dream team have a shot in hell at winning? Of course not. Will I be able to sleep tonight? Absolutely.

On John McCain’s concession speech:
He should just walk up to the podium, scream ‘FUCK PALIN,’ and then drop the mic Chris Rock style and walk away.

On Obama’s acceptance speech:
Wouldn’t it be totally awesome if he came out wearing a sideways ball cap with the song ‘Whoop, there it is!’ playing the background?

On having sex with my husband:
V: I’m so cold. But it’s a good thing you’re like a blanket…with a penis.

Husband: *laughs*

V: Hm, I suppose that’s one of the odder things I’ve said during sex. I should put that on my website.

Husband: *still laughing*

V: I’ll add it into my comments about the election. I doubt anyone will notice.

On what will happen to our country now that we’ve elected a new President:
No matter what happens, the next four years are not my fault. Ultimately, that’s all I care about.

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40 Responses to Presidential Election 2008

  1. Myroid

    More like Ron Lol, amirite? I also hear he likes to fuck animals. A lot.

  2. thepooka

    I went hippie liberal commie. And he’s not (politically) pink enough for my tastes.

    Ron Paul and Dennis Kucinich? You can’t put two crazies from opposite ends of the political spectrum in the White House together; it’s like putting two male bettas in the same tank!

    It would have suited him better than “gracious”.

    This is not a monarchy. We cannot have a Fresh Prince Elect.

    Duly noted.

    Voting third party is an abdication of all political responsibility? And suddenly all the Nader supporters in my stoner city make sense.

  3. Goldie

    I’ve got to ask, V, since you knew your dream team did not have a chance of winning, why did you even bother voting? Did you do it for the free Starbucks or for the free Ben&Jerry’s?
    Don’t get me wrong, I’m your biggest fan and all, but when I get curious, I get curious. I’ve got to ask, or else the suspense will kill me.

  4. VA: Presidential Election 2008

    […] Original post: Presidential Election 2008 […]

  5. RockHell

    I had a McCain supporter at my job, out of the blue get in my face and yell so violently that they had to report him for harassment…I told them not to, that he was just upset and nervous, and he knew I was an Obama supporter, and he was just venting. But security said to me “You are just a young lady, I mean, You’re the youngest one here, and you shouldn’t have to defend yourself” which was the most offensive thing about the entire situation. I would have loved a verbal sparring with this guy, however, it looked for a moment that he didn’t want to talk, but rather settle it with fisticuffs. Which would have been hilarious to watch a 50 year old former army corporeal punch out a 20 year old cafeteria worker, if only I wasn’t the 20 year old. 🙂

    Nothing that insane has ever happened at any job I’ve ever had.

    wow. thought I would share.

  6. chapmand

    I voted similar to you. I voted Ron Paul, but didn’t think of a VP to pair him with. I figured if he managed to miraculously win, he could think of someone.

    And I can answer the other commenter who asked “Why bother to vote for someone you don’t think can win.” The answer is real simple: So that when the votes are counted, the tally won’t come out showing that there was only two choices. If you just skip voting, then it looks like you just didn’t bother to show up. But, if you do show up and say “Neither” then it means that they have to account for it. And I think someday we will have a third and a fourth and a fifth party. And perhaps someday we’ll stop having our choices bundled together.

    What if I’m for the republican fiscal policies (not bush’s… I mean real republicans) but I’m for democratic social liberaties. Or what about the reverse? What about if I am pro this but anti that, and the candidates all have their choices on major issues chosen for them by committees… Well, my choices aren’t chosen by committee.

    Then of course, there’s the obvious “The president wasn’t the only thing I was asked for on the ballot.” Granted, those things for which I didn’t have an answer for, I left blank.

    The way I see it, even if you go into the poll and turn in a completely empty ballot, you’re showing that you voted. They’ll count the votes and they’ll see that you did part of your duty. You don’t have to answer every question, especially if you’re not well informed on every one.

    In all honesty, if Obama pulls off a quarter or an eighth of what he promises and does it without my taxes going up, then awesome for him. I hope that he does. There’s not much choice otherwise, he is the one who won. I would have said the same thing if McCain were elected, so there we have it.

    I’m just disappointed by the sheer amount of people trying to rub the losing party’s nose in their loss. McCain showed grace and dignity in the concession speech, so let’s hope that those who are overjoyed with the new president show grace and dignity in their win. Obama spoke of unity, so let’s see some.

    (And yes, VA, we did notice. Sounds like something my wife would have said too.)

  7. chapmand

    Oh, and as an additional note: After I voted for Ron Paul, I found out he endorsed the Constitution party. That severely disappointed me, since I really don’t agree with them at all. Maybe on some fiscal issues, but they’re far more conservative on social issues than I can stand. So, I don’t think I’ll vote for Mr. Paul ever again.

  8. shazammoo

    I voted for Ron Paul as well. It’s nice to see some other supporters out here. Since I used the electronic ballot, I couldn’t put my own VP choice. I wouldn’t have even known where to begin with that anyways…

  9. KisaLiebe

    V alot of the things you blog about i love. alot of people may think nonsense. if so they shouldnt read.. to me its entertaining gives me something to pass the time.. read everyone of your blogs.. which i’m guessing just about everyone else here has lol keep putting your opinions out there

  10. Xman146

    heh. blanket w/ a penis. classic

  11. Parasiet

    I’m glad we don’t use the system America uses where I live. With the American elections people seem to focus mainly on how the person is. Instead of what they stand for. Sure, people know democrats are more left-winged than republicans, but that’s basically it. Hardly anyone seems to get into the policies of the candidates. They just care about “Oh my gods, McCain blinks too much during speeches!” and “Obama sneezed the other day without fully covering his mouth with his hand!”
    I know this is probably cause of the long campaigning. At some point people are done talking about the policies for a while and they start talking about what the candidates are like. And then they forget about the policies.

    I also think it’s ridiculous there’s basically only 2 candidates, and a 3rd party nobody cares about. Americans basically vote for what they think would be the lesser of two evils. Or at least that’s the feeling I would be having if I was American.

  12. Rain

    Honestly Parasiet, you are supposed to sneeze into your elbow nowadays. Sneezing into your hand spreads germs.

  13. Peachbot

    There was one electronic voting booth at my polling center, and a fat guy with a baby was standing over it for the whole time I was in line(his little booth kept creaking like it was going to fall apart. I was half hoping it would), up until about two minutes after I finished voting myself. So I really didn’t get to pick paper or plastic.

  14. longtimegeek

    Not your fault – really? I have never understood how people can step back after the election and claim if things go to hell in a handbasket it is not their fault because ‘I didn’t vote for the guy’. I guess that works if you really believe that the election is all about picking Daddy A or Daddy B (or Daddy C) to ‘fix it for us’. I picked the one that I was most likely to want to help with his agenda – the one I thought would have the better chance of success.

    There is a big difference between taking blame and taking responsibility.

  15. fester60613

    I should loved to have seen the “FUCK PALIN” speech. I might have hurt myself laughing.

  16. sawaboof

    @Goldie she bothered voting because someday, enough people are going to realize they can vote 3rd party that 3rd party candidates will start receiving the funding and media attention they need to become viable candidates. Or at least Republican and Democratic candidates may start to think “hmmm… these people have ideals that others like. Maybe I should adopt some of them and cater to the people I’ll be leading.” It’s not throwing your vote away to vote for a third party.

    @V blanket with a penis?! HAH! You are awesome. I love it! 🙂

  17. GemmersE

    It would be funny if McCain had given us a Fuck Palin speech. Unfortunately he can’t un-fasten his lips from her ass long enough to realize how horrible she is. I hope to god in a few month I won’t hear about her again. Evar. Frsrs.

  18. Havvy

    The problem with voting in this country is not just the ‘bundling’, but the you have one vote mentality. Sure, one vote is useful when there are only two people running, but seriously, it doesn’t work when there are three or more candidates. A better system is to rate the candidates from best to worst, take out the worst candidate, and move up votes (if somebody voted ‘1st’ for the worst candidate, their ‘2nd’would become ‘1st’ and their ‘3rd’ become ‘2nd’ and ect.). Then retally, and knock off the weakest candidate again. Rinse & Repeat until you have two, where they one with the most votes wins.

  19. dotlizard

    i simply adore Ron Paul except for the whole, anti-choice thing. that’s kind of a big deal to me. not that he’d enact legislation based on those strict anti-abortion beliefs of his, but it would have made me nervous. not personally, i’m past that, but on behalf of the women out there who still need and deserve reproductive rights.

    Kucinich was my dream president but i figured i better contribute my vote to the lesser of two weevils, since it seemed extremely important to vote against more of the same, not to mention the part about what if the old dude died, and we’d have … *her*. so i felt it important to make sure that didn’t happen.

    but i must agree, a blanket with a penis, that’s a great line.

  20. spriteless

    Yeah, Australia is much better than us with democracy. They have that system. Voting is also mandatory, so 60% turnout isn’t record high in recent memory.

  21. squeaky

    I noticed the sex discussion. Um, I’ll have what you’re having thanks.

  22. medieval1

    Don’t blame me, I voted for the American.

  23. Ready

    A while ago you said that you are not white. What race ARE you?

  24. watertruth

    Yes V. Your husband is like a blanket… with a penis.

    Nice 😉

  25. strumpet101

    Ron Paul ftw.

  26. strumpet101

    Oh, and Havvy – if more people would vote with their heart than what they think will MATTER, the two big parties might start taking notice of the sheer amount of numbers who can’t stand the direction they’re going in.

  27. raazychx

    That was a really, really random post…

  28. Kushan

    I wrote in, “Bush. FOUR MORE YEARS, BABY”

    I hope they appreciate my humor.

  29. Christi Lee

    Nothing here, move along.

  30. Rooker

    > I’ve got to ask, V, since you knew your dream team did not have a chance of winning, why did you even bother voting?

    Don’t know about V’s reason, but for myself, if you live in a republic and can’t bother yourself to vote, you lose your right to bitch at the government.

  31. molokopluss

    You may as well have voted for Scooby Fucking Doo.

  32. Matthew


    If you don’t vote, you absolutely can still bitch…the people who voted for either major candidate (particularly the winning one) aren’t allowed to.

    V, check it:

  33. DonnaT65

    Ron Paul. Hee hee hee hee hee.

    Oh, wait – were you serious? Ron Paul? Why not just wipe your ass with the ballot? Same effect.

  34. The L

    @Matthew: Seriously?

    If you voted, then you have already made it clear to the establishment whom you want in office. You don’t like the other candidate(s), and you’re doing something about it by voting for someone you feel is qualified.

    If you didn’t vote, then you did nothing whatsoever to help put your candidate in office. Therefore, if your candidate loses, why complain? If it really meant anything to you, you would have VOTED for him in the first place.

    Just because the “win/lose by one vote” situation is rare, doesn’t mean it never happens. Either way, you don’t know how much your one vote meant until after the polls close. Besides, if everyone who sat around thinking, “My one measly vote won’t make a difference,” actually voted, there would be a significant increase in the number of people voting, and that alone could result in close enough results to require a recount, or change a tight race into a sure thing.

  35. Sebastian

    This was actually a really funny post.
    Way better than all that other shit you wrote before it.

  36. anastasia

    Did you know there have been rumours that Palin will run for president in 2012?

    Also, maybe you should explain exactly what you think is wrong with Barack Obama. What’s wrong with liberals? Do you think people only voted for him because he is black?

  37. saraphonic

    I’m guessing you don’t like being on top.

  38. steelwingedbutterfly

    Ron Paul. Props.

  39. mainframeguy

    I’m curious how long before the asassination… and your VP scares me.

    I am also assuming this comment will never show since there was some weird “audition” thing for comments on your blog and I presumes I failed it.

    In fact I really should stop reading it, especially now it is having guest posters and the like, it seems to have gone beyond a blog.

  40. RazzyPop

    As sandy as your vagina is, I must say that you’re awesome.
    As juvenile as that sounds.

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