The Most Merciful Death is Baby Death

December 28th, 2006.

One bright August morning, a young woman walked into a clinic and requested an abortion. The well meaning nurse that assisted her was a pro-lifer. She asked the timid woman if she was aware of all the help the state gives to young, unwed mothers. She loaded her up with pamphlets and information and stories about maternal joy. She begged the woman to take a night to really think things through before she killed her baby. After all, the nurse insisted, she’d never know true love until the day she held her baby in her arms. Then, she ushered the young woman out the door.

The young woman went home and finally confessed her pregnancy to her boyfriend. To her surprise, her boyfriend was thrilled with the idea of fatherhood. Together, they decided to keep the baby. Seven months later, Alyssa was born.

It all sounds very triumphant, doesn’t it? I’m sure that nurse slept easy that night.

It would have been a story of victory and life and love, if not for Alyssa’s parents. They were young and broke, impatient and cruel, poor and fucked up on drugs. But worst of all? They were religious zealots. But instead of Jesus, they worshipped something they melodramatically referred to as ‘The Dark God.’

Little Alyssa quickly became fodder to use in their creepy little rituals. To say they physically and sexually abused Alyssa would be a vast understatement. From infancy through childhood, they spent their time setting parts of her body on fire, forcing her to help them kill animals, starving her, and then molesting her. During their made up fantasy rituals, they’d even insert live snakes into her vagina. She lived in a filthy little closet, covered in feces, urine, blood and animal waste for four years until CPS stepped in.

CPS permanently severed the legal rights of Alyssa’s parents and got her into counseling. But, years of torture had fragmented her mind. She was out of control, developmentally behind, and she completely lacked a moral compass. Her Doctors were befuddled. They just didn’t know how to help her.

Alyssa bounced around in foster homes for nearly 7 months before winding up at my friends’ house. She was kicked out of her last foster home after she was caught fellating the family dog.

Now obviously, CPS doesn’t just let any foster parent care for a child like Alyssa. My friend actually specializes in caring for children who have suffered extreme cases of abuse. In most states, you need years of additional training and sometimes even a special license for that. Not many people are willing to go the extra mile just for a chance to help some really fucked up kid. But caring for the really fucked up kids was where my friend insisted she could make the most difference. She’s brilliant with them, too. She has the patience of Gandhi and when Alyssa came, she used to say her greatest accomplishment in life was that she never, ever had to send a child back. She was determined to get through to Alyssa.

A few weeks after Alyssa arrived, my friend looked haggard and sleep deprived. When asked what was bothering her, she said that Alyssa was very aggressive with the other children and had to be watched almost constantly. But, she was still determined to get through to her.

A week after that, the family woke up one morning to find that Alyssa had snapped the necks of a cage full of hamsters and beat the family cat to death with a baton. Still, my friend was determined to get through to her.

A few nights after that, my friend woke up one night to find Alyssa standing beside her bed holding her older foster brother’s stolen Swiss army knife at her throat.

“I have to send her back,” my friend cried, “I don’t know what else to do. What if she hurts one of my other children? We’re all so afraid of her….”

So, she sent Alyssa back.

Alyssa bounced around from home to home for almost another year. Shortly after her sixth birthday, she committed suicide. Never before had anyone heard of a child so young taking their own life.

You can point the finger at many, many people for the tragedy that was Alyssa’s life. But you want to know who I blame?

That fucking pro-lifer nurse.

I am not pro abortion because I’m mixed up in my head when it comes to deciding when life actually begins. I am willing to believe that a child becomes a child the second the sperm enters the egg. I am even willing to concede that abortion kills a child no matter how early the procedure is performed. I just don’t care.

Nor am I pro abortion because I believe that the government should keep its hand off of a woman’s body or she that she has a right to choose. On the contrary, I don’t believe all women should have the right to choose. I don’t think everyone is capable of making the right choice. Alyssa’s Mother chose and she chose wrong.

I am pro abortion simply because sometimes death is more merciful than life. What good is bringing an unwanted child into the world so it can lead a miserable, desolate, pointless life? Someone truly compassionate will kindly end a life before they’d force a child to live in pain and agony.

But what about adoption?

In theory, it’s a good idea. However, how many fucked up woman fully intended to give their child up only to buy into the theory that it is their ‘only true love’ in the delivery room? How many changed their mind at the last second and took their true love home with them to abuse and emotionally torture? Too many, I suspect. But even in the best case scenario, with the infant given to a happy loving home, the child still ends up an angsty middle aged woman so self absorbed that she doesn’t realize how good she had it.

No, thank you.

Give me death. Sweet, sweet merciful baby death and lots of them.

Every time a baby dies in the womb, I sleep a little easier that night.

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