And just what are you doing here reading this tripe? You oughta be ashamed of yourself!
Seriously though, I can totally see this being the one website on the Internet that everyone’s ashamed to admit they read. Nothing but nastiness here, my friends! Although, I find it a little ironic that others exploit their kids for cash and popularity, but I’m the bad guy. After all, what is the difference between the parents of child actors and mommybloggers? It’s simple really, the parents of child actors have to take the majority of the child’s earnings and put it in a trust for the child until they’re 18. The mommybloggers, on the other hand, pocket the whole profit and their kids are going to end up like Gary Coleman: working as security guards to make ends meet even though the whole world knows their names. Pretty disgusting, if you ask me.
However, I do feel a little bad for the mommybloggers…fancying themselves these remarkable writers. The fact of the matter is, they’re cheap hacks and if not for their children, they’d have nothing to say. I suspect Dooce recently had to come to terms with this when she sat down to write her book and realized that she’s incapable of constructing anything deeper than 4 pointless paragraphs of ‘you had to be there’ dialogue. A book is a different beast and the poor thing couldn’t cut it, so it’s back to Leta and the never ending drama of being a constipated toddler. Sorry, Leta.
Quick sidenote: Did anyone really expect me to write Aim-a-la-ding-dong-dipshit? Because that’d be as interesting as interviewing the chocolate hotdog my dog just left me on the front lawn. Say what you will about crazy ass Y and no shame Rob, but at least they have personality. Aim-a-la-wally-doodle-all-day-jihad is mind numbingly boring even in the mommyblogging circle and that is saying a lot.
Ok, but enough about mommybloggers, you probably want to get some dirt on me now, don’t you? Am I male or female? (Female) How old am I? (Early 30’s) Am I violent like my URL suggests? (Only verbally) What the hell is my problem anyway? (Heart is two sizes too small)
You know what I find interesting? That if you ask anyone right now if they believe that the world is currently filled with a lot of bad people, they’d answer in the affirmative. Yet, no one actually wants cop to being one of the bad people. Hell, I’ve seen serial killers and child rapists insist that deep down, they were good people. You know what this tells me? There is a total lack of self awareness in the world right now. So here I am looking to change that by fessing up myself.
I am one of the bad guys.
But you have a little bit of bad guy in ya, too.
Why else would you be here reading?
It’s Ok. The first step towards change is identifying the problem. But before we change, let’s all have bit of fun first. Shall we?
- Monthy Newsletter: Month Thirty-three
- Mommybloggers Unite!
- The New Definition of a Bastard Child
- Hanging the Kids Out to Dry
- God Save us From Sarah Palin