Archive for the 'Uncategorized' Category

How to Get Out of a Traffic Ticket

Friday, July 17th, 2009

Two things happen to bullies when they grow up: they either become drug dealers or they become police officers. Which field the bully ultimately goes into depends largely on whether or not his parents went to college. If Mom was a school teacher and Dad worked for an insurance company, the little wet neck weasel […]

In Defense of my Mother

Thursday, April 9th, 2009

I had intended to write a couple of follow up articles to Childhood: Then and Now, but something terrible happened. That damn article made it to the front page of reddit and got hundreds of comments. Which, in itself, isn’t a bad thing. I just made the mistake of reading said comments. I should have […]

Childhood: Then and Now

Monday, March 9th, 2009

When I was a little kid, my parents pushed me out the front door every day. “Come back when the streetlights come on,” they said. Oftentimes, my 3 year old brother was sent out with me to tagalong. Of course, I considered this a great imposition. After all, at 5 I was way too old […]

American Idol Contestant Sings a Song About Child Molestation

Sunday, March 1st, 2009

A couple of nights ago, I was thumbing through the channels on my TV set when, resigned and bored, I briefly settled on American Idol. A contestant, whose name I do not know because I don’t actually follow the show, was in the process of singing ‘Man in the Mirror’ by Michael Jackson. Not 10 […]

Calling All Degenerates

Monday, February 23rd, 2009

I’ll admit it. Reviewing EJ was a lot of fun. In fact, I had so much fun skewering that self important little bastard, that when someone else offered me cold hard cash to review them, I couldn’t hit the ‘accept’ button quick enough. Two idiots in less than a week? Is it fucking Christmas around […]