Archive for December, 2006

How I Almost Got Sued In My First 30 Days of Writing

Saturday, December 30th, 2006

People who have tuned into my website recently have expressed some confusion over what shall henceforth be referred to as ‘The Mommyblogger Saga.’ Basically, it is a series of posts that can be found in my October archives that don’t make much sense unless you were around when everything was happening. The Saga tells an […]

The Most Merciful Death is Baby Death

Thursday, December 28th, 2006

One bright August morning, a young woman walked into a clinic and requested an abortion. The well meaning nurse that assisted her was a pro-lifer. She asked the timid woman if she was aware of all the help the state gives to young, unwed mothers. She loaded her up with pamphlets and information and stories about […]

How To Get Free Ice Cream

Wednesday, December 27th, 2006

God, I love global warming. We’re a full two days past Christmas now and it has only snowed once so far. Today, the sun was out, the birds were singing, and it was a balmy 62 degrees. Because of this, I decided to go out for ice cream. There’s a cute little frozen custard place one city over, […]

His Little Jewish Penis

Sunday, December 24th, 2006

Brother:  You don’t like comedies. V:  I like some comedies. Brother:  Name one. V:  ‘When Harry Met Sally.’ Brother:  That wasn’t a comedy. V:  Yes, it was. It was very funny. Brother:  The only funny part of that movie was when ol’ whats-his-nuts went jogging with his buddy. And he was wearing those bikers shorts […]

My Bank Teaches Me a Little Something About Customer Service

Friday, December 22nd, 2006

I am not a Christmas bargain shopper. I don’t get up at 6am and head to the store so I can stand in line for a big discount on a piece of crap that no wants or needs. Instead, I stop at the bank, buy a stack of Visa gift cards, pop them in some cards, and I call […]