Archive for January, 2007

Have You Ever Had a Friend Urinate in Your Bed? I Have.

Wednesday, January 31st, 2007

When I was in college, Erica Lynn was one of my best girlfriends. Erica Lynn was a fun girl and we often went bar hopping together. Sometimes, when she got sloppy drunk, she’d lose control of her bladder and pee her pants. Because she was so hilarious and outgoing, everyone ignored this little aspect of […]

Dating is Competitive Manipulation

Monday, January 29th, 2007

I think I was around 19 years old when I became mildly interested in my co-worker, Jack. I fancied his voice and when you’re young, dumb, and pumped full of estrogen, that’s all it usually takes for a man to earn an eyebrow rise. I casually made some inquires on Jack’s status and soon learned […]

White Trash?

Sunday, January 28th, 2007

Husband:  I just did something very ‘white trash.’ V:  What’s that? Husband:  I went outside to check the mail wearing nothing but a pair of boxer shorts, a t-shirt and a pair of flip flops. V:  Well, I wish you would have told me that was ‘white trash’ six months ago. I do that every […]

Raise Your Hand, Asshole

Friday, January 26th, 2007

As I gain more time to do what I like, I find it increasingly hard to find ways to entertain myself. When I only had an hour or two a day to relax, I could always catch a movie or have a few drinks. Now that I have no need for work and my entire […]

It is Less Painful to Embrace Defeat Rather Than Cross the DMV

Thursday, January 25th, 2007

Yesterday was my birthday, so I had to make a trip to the DMV to get my new sticker. The line was shockingly short and I was taken care of almost immediately. After shelling out $60 for the sticker, I headed out to the parking lot to attach it to my truck. I’m prone to […]