One of my guiltiest pleasures is watching men scramble to figure women out. The practice of convincing women to sleep with them seems particularly challenging and they rack their brains trying to figure out the best way to score.
Cocky men will often claim that all it takes is a bit of ‘game’ and they will smugly impart their infinite wisdom on their gawky peers. A guy that lacks experience in the sex department will sometimes latch on to any tip or trick thrust down his throat without ever considering the lasting effect his behavior has on society as a whole.
There is a difference between ‘bad game’ and ‘good game.’ Because I’m in the mood, I’m going describe a few popular forms of game to all of my young, single, male readers from a woman’s perspective. After that, it’s up to you what you do with this oh so valuable information.
The “Accidental” Insult
This is when a man purposely tries to manipulate a woman’s insecurities in such a way as to make her feel like she has to prove her womanhood by sleeping with him. To really make this work, a man has to portray his comments and gestures as completely accidental or risk starting a fight. The key here is subtly. He doesn’t want to insult her too much or she’ll get angry. But he does want to insult her just enough to make her feel that there is something wrong with her. The idea behind this is that women with insecurities are easy to get in bed.
Common examples of this include: Playfully pinching her back fat or arm fat, casually pointing out wrinkles or dark circles under her eyes, or buying her clothing that is obviously too small for her.
Sometimes a man can simply ask with mock concern, “Are you tired? You look tired today. Is everything ok?” This works particularly well if the woman is feeling alert and cheerful. The man ends up looking thoughtful and sensitive, while the woman is left with a nagging feeling that there is something wrong with her face or demeanor.
Once a man has knocked the woman down a couple of pegs, it is much easier for him to close the deal. She will feel vulnerable and apprehensive and will likely over inflate the importance of even the most meager of validations tossed her way. She might even put a little extra effort into her lovemaking subconsciously trying to prove to him that she’s still worthwhile…even if she has gained a couple of pounds.
This method most assuredly works. It is an especially effective tool to use against young women who are naturally critical of themselves.
With that said, I don’t like it.
For one thing, every single criticism that can be said of the female population is a direct result of deep seated insecurities, too much pride, and a shockingly large and easily bruised ego. The women that constantly feel bad about themselves are also the women that file false domestic abuse charges and seek large quantities of alimony after a divorce. Women plagued by worries that they’re no longer desirable have a harder time remaining loyal in their relationships, are generally more mean spirited, and have a larger tendency to engage in malicious gossip. A woman that completely lacks confidence in herself can be emotionally destroyed by too many ‘Accidental’ insults and a woman destroyed is a woman that has nothing to lose by destroying you.
I guess what I’m trying to say is that if you use this technique, yeah, you might get laid for the night. But you’ll also be doing your part to help create a monster. When you divorce a woman who is zealously consumed by thoughts of ruining your life, you have to ask yourself what is missing in her life that drove her to this point. What happened to her inner sense of self? What happened to her pride that caused her to stoop to such levels?
Men, if you desire women who are confident, even tempered and fair, then it makes sense to build them up rather than constantly knocking them down. Sometimes, this might mean jerking off for the night.
Also, I’d just like to note that I have slept with men that have utilized this technique. Every single memory is etched into my mind negatively. A lot of men don’t mind being remembered as a lousy fuck. But if you are the type of guy that wants a woman to fondly remember your penis, avoid this technique.
The Balancing Act
This is when a man attempts to insult and compliment a woman at the same time. This works for all the same reasons that the ‘Accidental compliment’ works in that it preys on a woman’s insecurities. However, it is much more successfully used on young girls than it is on grown women. Grown women are liable to get pissed the fuck off.
“You know, even though you’ve got a big ass, I think it’s really hot.”
“Your nose is a little crooked, but your eyes are so beautiful that you barely notice.”
“Kirsten Dunst is a lot thinner than you, but I bet you have the better personality.”
Like I said above, I generally do not approve of any method of operation that ultimately makes a woman feel bad about herself. Also, this method often backfires resulting in some pretty intense domestic fights.
The Reverse Compliment
Out of the three, this method takes the most skill and a fair bit of perception to pull off successfully. Because of this, I do not see it as often used or explained as the other two. However, with the right amount of practice, it can score you large quantities of ass.
To do this correctly, a man has to first identify an insecurity that the woman already possesses. Then, he has to casually refrain from validating her until an intimate moment arises.
This is a tough one to explain, so I’m going to give you a personal example and hope it clarifies things a bit.
Way back when I was a single girl, I decided to get my hair cut before a date. I told my hairdresser that I wanted something dramatically different from my old hairstyle and she obliged. However, when I looked in the mirror afterwards, I couldn’t decide if I hated it or loved it.
I went on my date feeling very insecure about the cut. My date made note of it by simply saying, “Ah, you got your hair cut.”
I patted my hair nervously and said, “Yeah, I’m not really sure how I feel about it. It’s really different.”
Instead of instantly complimenting me, my date said, “You know, I read somewhere that women who change their hair want to make big changes in their lives.”
The next thing I knew, we were talking about my goals and it occurred to me that he hadn’t said whether or not he liked my hair. I secretly stressed out about this during the rest of the date.
Much later that evening, during an intimate moment (We were kissing), my date paused and whispered in my ear, “You know, I really like your hair like that.”
Oh yeah. He closed the deal that night.
While this is technically just another form of manipulating a woman’s insecurities, I like it because the end result is positive for everyone. The man gets laid and the woman walks away from the experience feeling a bit more confident and sexy.
Nowhere does the man attempt to create negativity. Instead, he primes the woman in such a way as to make his compliment seem more sincere. For example, had my date just complimented my hair right off the bat, I might have suspected that he was just trying to be nice and continued to stress out about it. However, the way he did it made his opinion seem more genuine and I ended up loving my fucking haircut after our date.
Furthermore, a man that utilizes this technique will likely be remembered positively by the woman he fucks. While her other sexual experiences may have been shrouded in feelings of shame or anxiety, this one will probably make her smile when she looks back on it. Also, a woman that has had many positive experiences with men will likely not end up a ball busting, bull dyke feminist.
How is that not a win-win for the whole wide world?